Felix Major – Episode 1
Do you suffer from shark attack? Then try Dr Poo’s new Shark-Off! One short spray will keep you shark-free all day. (Warning: does not work in water) Meanwhile, if Denis puts it that way (with the blade of his flick-knife against Dr Poo’s jugular vein), the Doctor will take him home– it’s all cisterns go!
DR POO: Denis’s planet is called Felix Major, Dana, it’s the original home world for every cat in the universe, and you can smell it from 3 galaxies away so locating it shouldn’t be any problem.Felix Major – Episode 2
Dana puts the cat out, to socialise with his feline friends (and make it snappy) in a landscape of back-fences as far as the eyes can see – but soon the gang are hit on the heads by steel-capped boots. Great bowls of porcelain, this planet’s under attack!
DANA: Doctor, you seem to have got Denis under control all of a sudden.Felix Major – Episode 3
Hey Poo fans, would you like a cup of tea? You would? Well go and put the kettle on you lazy bludgers and thereby miss this episode, in which the Doctor, Dana and Denis are under attack by a mysterious sound effect. All the other pussy cats have jumped into rubbish bins, so Dana finds an empty bin for the gang to hide in, avoiding bonks.
DR POO: Quick, Dana, we’ve got to get under cover bonk. Under cover bonk? Oh no, I don’t say ‘bonk’, that’s a sound effect isn’t it?Felix Major – Episode 4
The hail of steel-capped boots is being hurled from a Sinister-Type Unidentified Flying Object, known in military jargon as an S.T.U.F.O., or STUFO. On the besieged planet Denis keeps their spirits up by wailing ‘We’ll Meet Again’ before suggesting a cat war conference – Poo isn’t invited.
DR POO: Hang on a minute. I think the boots have stopped falling! Dana, have a look outside, would you?Felix Major – Episode 5
The high-level war conference proceeds without Dr Poo, who doesn’t care – he couldn’t be more disinterested if he was, which he’s not. The Doctor and Dana investigate the damage inflicted by the flying boots.
DANA: It never occurred to me that this kind of saturation-bombing with steel-capped boots could do this kind’a damage.