Sherlock Humms (i)
It's London in the time of Queen Victoria. The killers are
thick on the ground and there's an insane fog on the loose. But where are the
Doctor and Dana?
Right here Kevin, in front of this door. Now give me that
knocker and get lost.
Well if that's your attitude, here you are and GOODBYE!
(Kevin runs off)
Oh Doctor, you've upset him and now he's gone off in a huff.
Well it matches his suit. Never mind about him Dana, we have
an episode to attend to.
Who lives here Doctor?
The man who can tell us what's going on.
Doctor Poo knocks on the door and it creaks open
Good evening. Come in.
Now, how can I help you?
You probably know who I am.
Yes, you're Doctor Poo. I listen to you on the wireless. And
this must be the beautiful Dana Sock.
Where? Oh yes me. Ah ha. What's your name?
This Dana, is the famous sloth, Sherlock Humms.
Isn't it Holmes?
Because I don't know the words.
O Humms, that's a terrible joke.
Yes Poo, I know and I'm terribly sorry but you see everyone
in London is telling awful jokes. It's the only self defence we have against
that mad misanthropic comedian, Jack the Quipper.
Thank you. This madman has been terrorising London for the
last mangimum months. Late at night he accosts his innocent victims in dark
quiet streets and tells the most awful music hall jokes imaginable. Forty
victims so far. All of them hopelessly boring.
Obviously no laughing matter Humms.
No Poo, it's beyond a yoke!
Chicken noise - buck, buck, buck
Oh dear. Come on Kevin, finish this damn episode before Humms
tries to tell anymore jokes.
Dr Poo? Inspector Forkbody of the Lard here. We have your lost announcer here and you can pick him up in the next episode of Dr Poo-oo!
Transcribed by Phil from an NAA recording.
Copyright is retained by the ABC, Triple J and Curtis, Kelso, Johnston & Matthews and no breach of copyright is intended by this reproduction.