Episode 62
Sherlock Humms (ii)
August 1979

Opening titles

Sound of a rock crashing through a window

Dr Poo

Holy harpic. It's a note with a rock wrapped around it.

Dana

What does it say Doctor.

Dr Poo

I don't know Dana, I can't read rock. How about you, Sherlock?

Humms

Hand it here Poo. Hmm, yes, yes very interesting.

Dr Poo

What is it Humms?

Humms

No doubt about it. It is a rock.

Dr Poo

Amazing, Humms

Humms

Sedimentary my dear Poo.

Dr Poo

And what does it say?

Humms

It doesn't say anything, it is a rock.

Dr Poo

But there must be a message Humms.

Dana

Listen to this piece of paper.

Dr Poo

Very good Dana, but that doesn't solve the problem of the rock.

Humms

There is a simple solution Poo. I'll play the rock on the gramophone.

Sound of scratchy record being played

Kevin

You idiots! The message is on the other side of the piece of paper that Dana is holding.

Dr Poo

Come on then Dana, read the message.

Humms

Yes, it might give us a clue about the rock.

Dana

Ah yes, it says - And still on the run from the police. Couldn't get here to announce the episode, so you'll have to start without me. Signed Kevin the Announcer.

Dr Poo

Ok then, let's get on with it, shall we?

Humms

Righto Poo. Marked on this map of London are spots where that cold blooded comedian Jack the Quipper has struck.

Dr Poo

Yes, well there doesn't seem to be any discernible pattern, does there Humms?

Humms

Only to the untrained eye, Poo. For instance, if we were to join the dots, like this and this; colour in these bits here and put some eyebrows up here and a little tail there and there we have it. Donald Duck.

Dr Poo

That's incredible, Humms.

Humms

Yes but don't you see, it has absolutely nothing to do with Jack the Quipper.

Dr Poo

You astound me Humms. How do you do it?

Humms

Well you hold the pencil like this and you rub it against the paper. No, no. With the pointy end.

Dr Poo

Anyway Dana, come and have a look at this.

Dana

Wait a sec Doctor. I'm just going to play the other side of this rock.

Sound of gramophone

Kevin

This is a recording of me saying this is a recording of me announcing the announcement of the other end of another episode of Dr Poo-oo!

End titles



Written by Lance Curtis, Geoff Kelso, Steve Johnston and Ken Matthews.
Transcribed by Phil from an NAA recording.

Copyright is retained by the ABC, Triple J and Curtis, Kelso, Johnston & Matthews and no breach of copyright is intended by this reproduction.