Episode 134
Collision with Dr Who (1/7)
November 1979

OPENING TITLES

KEVIN

Hi there Poo sufferers. As a result of the last episode, stocks of public sanity have plummeted five points and there's been a run on the sight hospitals, so don't bother trying to book in because they are full up for the entire holiday season. Fortunately though, everything has returned to normal on board the Turdis.

MUSIC: The Infernal Gallop i.e. The Can Can music

DR POO

That's good girls, that's good. Now bring the gorilla more to centre. No, the gorilla with the red hair. That's right, now come on girls, twirl those above your head. Good. Good.

DANA

Doctor. Doctor.

DR POO

Not now Dana, I'm rehearsing the finale.

DANA

But Doctor, it's important. There's something on the Cosmo scanner.

DR POO

OK girls, that's all for today. And tomorrow we'll try that same scene without the wheelchairs.

DANA

Gee, they're getting good, aren't they Doctor?

DR POO

Well they are the Royal Shakespeare Company, Dana. Mind you, Lord Olivier does look a bit uncomfortable in the gorilla suit. Now where's this thing on the Cosmo scanner?

DANA

There! Look!

DR POO

Denis, come here you dirty little denim swine. I'll rub your nose in it.

DANA

No Doctor, next to that.

DR POO

Oh yes, I see it. Holy Harpic, it's another time and space vehicle. It appears to be just like the Turdis except unlike us, it has a negatively charged stupidatron field!

DANA

Aw, get off the grass.

DR POO

I'm serious Dana. The two stupidatron fields could interact with each other and this whole situation could become extremely silly. Oh no, look at the imbecilascope. A flow of retardo particles. Hold on to your brain Dana, something monumentally stupid is about to happen.

KEVIN

Oh no Poo gang, what could it possibly be? Could it be an unnamed Queensland Premier with matching wife, or a herd of tap dancing yaks, or possibly the next episode of Dr Poo-oo!

END TITLES



Written by Lance Curtis, Geoff Kelso, Steve Johnston and Ken Matthews.
Transcribed by Phil from an NAA recording.

Copyright is retained by the ABC, Triple J and Curtis, Kelso, Johnston & Matthews and no breach of copyright is intended by this reproduction.