Episode 137
Collision with Dr Who (4/7)
November 1979

OPENING TITLES

Kevin

In our last exciting Eric Toad, the Doctor by cleverly managing to...

Knock at the door

O what is it?

Eric Toad

Hello, I'm the exciting Mr Eric Toad and I strongly object to the use of my name in an attempt on a pun from the word; episode.

Kevin

I'm sorry but that's the sort of thing our audience expects. A recent survey we did shows that three percent of the audience liked bad puns. For two percent, bad puns made them want to go out and shoot their grandmothers. One percent didn't have grandmothers and the other ninety four percent didn't exist.

Eric Toad

That's as may be but I am still the exciting Mr Eric Toad. Not a name to be bandied with. If you can't make a proper pun on my name, then don't bother.

Kevin

But you can't make a direct pun on Eric Toad!

Eric Toad

O yes you can. What about Wordsworth famous erotic poem "erect ode".

Kevin

Get out of here.

Eric Toad

And what about the smash up your friend the Doctor has had. I presume we will see a wreck towed away.

Kevin

GET LOST. As I was saying, in our last exciting Roger Frog.

Roger Frog

Hello, I'm the exciting Mr Roger Frog.

Kevin

Piiisss Offff. Erh. In our last exciting, ah thing, the Doctor...

Door opens

Mr Thing

Ah I'm the exciting Mr Thing.

Sound of machine gun firing


Kevin

(Takes a couple of deep breaths)

In our last exciting...

(Pause)

...naked lady?

Shrieks of laughter

Ah, well, it was worth a try. In our last exciting episode, the Doctor, by cleverly not taking any notice, crashed the Turdis into an oncoming Time and Space machine. This is how the last episode finished.

Sound of brakes screeching etc

Now, because of those unnecessary interruptions, what was supposed to happen in this episode has been postponed until the next exciting Nigel Amphibian of Dr Poo-oo!

END TITLES




Written by Lance Curtis, Geoff Kelso, Steve Johnston and Ken Matthews.
Transcribed by Phil from an off-air recording made by Warren.

Copyright is retained by the ABC, Triple J and Curtis, Kelso, Johnston & Matthews and no breach of copyright is intended by this reproduction.