Episode 139
Collision with Dr Who (6/7)
November 1979

OPENING TITLES

Kevin

Hey Poo freaks, sharpen up your righteous indignation. Your favourite radio character, Dr Poo, in his fabulous Turdis, has had an accident with another time and space vehicle called, would you believe it - The TARDIS. Driven by some fictional character calling himself, now get this - Dr Who! What a rip off. I ask you, is nothing sacred? We've put it in the hands of our lawyers. Need I say more?

Police sirens

Dr Poo

The police have arrived.

Dana

Why did the tow trucks arrived first, Doctor?

Dr Poo

Well they used to until the police took them over. Now they arrive together.

Detective

Detective Sergeant Mad Mitts Tow Trucks Smash Repairs and Intergalactic Police Force at your service. That'll be forty dollars thanks.

Opens cash register

Dana

Do you carry that cash register with you everywhere?

Detective

Only when I'm on duty, Miss. Forty dollars thanks. Well, what happened to the other driver, son?

Dr Poo

Well, constable, he said he had to rush off to do battle with a rampaging giant pool table.

Detective

Ah then I'm afraid there could be problems.

Dr Poo

He said he'd pay for everything. I'm to send him the bill later.

Detective

O no worries then. Look I'll take his forty dollars off you now. No make it sixty dollars, I don't think I like the sound of this charge.

Dr Poo

How much will it cost to get the Turdis repaired?

Detective

Well that all depends, let's see. Two hundred dollars with the neg driving charge and ah, four hundred without.

Dr Poo

Oh without the driving charge, I think.

Detective

Ah ha.

Dr Poo

And ah, I hate to ask but when will it be ready?

Detective

Ah well we're a bit snowed under at the moment, so we won't be able to get it to you any sooner than um, last Thursday.

Dr Poo

I suppose that will have to do.

Detective

Right now if you'd just like to step out of this time space continuum, I'll tow your shit heap away.

Police sirens

Kevin

The characters in this radio serial are real, and any resemblance to fictional BBC characters living or dead is totally intentional. Only the names have been changed to protect the next alias of Dr Poo-oo!

End titles



Written by Lance Curtis, Geoff Kelso, Steve Johnston and Ken Matthews.
Transcribed by Phil from an off-air recording made by Warren.

Copyright is retained by the ABC, Triple J and Curtis, Kelso, Johnston & Matthews and no breach of copyright is intended by this reproduction.