Episode 140
Collision with Dr Who (7/7)
November 1979

OPENING TITLES

Kevin

Well gang, after the Doctor's prang with that fancy fictional TV character and his souped up TARDIS, the poor old Turdis has been towed off to the Galacto Cosmic Panel beaters to be repaired. The Doctor and Dana stand alone in the infinite corridors of time and space.

Dana

What's with this crowd Doctor? I thought we were supposed to be alone.

Crowd

Oooo!

Dr Poo

All right, all right. Oh I hate last Thursday night's shopping in the infinite corridors.

Dana

Doctor, I still don't understand? Why's it last Thursday now? I mean then. I mean now then. Now then?

Dr Poo

Well you see Dana, it's like this. The earliest that the panel beaters could have the Turdis fixed was the Thursday before the accident. Last Thursday. So here we are.

Dana

What?

Dr Poo

Well Dana, the way these panel beaters work is, they send the Turdis back in time to when it was built. So it's as good as new and then they mail it forward care of the Thursday preceding the accident. And then we just pick it up.

Dana

Ah thanks Doctor.

Dr Poo

Come on Dana, there's the Turdis just up ahead. Oh no, Gonzales is waiting outside.

Gonzales

So Dr Poo you finally got here. I've been waiting for you since next week. To date the Department of Time and Space has not received your report on the accident which occurred at the intersection of Over there and Next Tuesday and the t...

Dr Poo

I know what happened Gonzales; I was with myself at the time.

Gonzales

All right cranky pants, so you know everything do you? So then, there's no need for me to tell you that this other driver, this so called Dr Who, doesn't exist and that the BBC is a mythical organisation. So Poo, you're up for all the damages.

Dr Poo

Never! Look Gonzales, there's a spider on your fly.

Gonzales

Where? Where? Where?

Dr Poo

Quick Dana, into the Turdis.

Door closes

It's all cisterns go.

Turdis takes off

Kevin

Once more Dr Poo blasts off across the universe leaving a trail of pissed off bureaucrats, hysterical listeners, odd socks and a list of debts as long as somebody else's arm. Be sure to tune in before they repossess the next episode of Dr Poo-oo!

End titles



Written by Lance Curtis, Geoff Kelso, Steve Johnston and Ken Matthews.
Transcribed by Phil from an off-air recording made by Warren.

Copyright is retained by the ABC, Triple J and Curtis, Kelso, Johnston & Matthews and no breach of copyright is intended by this reproduction.