Collision with Dr Who (7/7)
Well gang, after the Doctor's prang with that fancy fictional
TV character and his souped up TARDIS, the poor old Turdis has been towed off
to the Galacto Cosmic Panel beaters to be repaired. The Doctor and Dana stand
alone in the infinite corridors of time and space.
What's with this crowd Doctor? I thought we were supposed to
All right, all right. Oh I hate last Thursday night's
shopping in the infinite corridors.
Doctor, I still don't understand? Why's it last Thursday now?
I mean then. I mean now then. Now then?
Well you see Dana, it's like this. The earliest that the
panel beaters could have the Turdis fixed was the Thursday before the accident.
Last Thursday. So here we are.
Well Dana, the way these panel beaters work is, they send the
Turdis back in time to when it was built. So it's as good as new and then they
mail it forward care of the Thursday preceding the accident. And then we just
pick it up.
Ah thanks Doctor.
Come on Dana, there's the Turdis just up ahead. Oh no,
Gonzales is waiting outside.
So Dr Poo you finally got here. I've been waiting for you
since next week. To date the Department of Time and Space has not received your
report on the accident which occurred at the intersection of Over there and
Next Tuesday and the t...
I know what happened Gonzales; I was with myself at the time.
All right cranky pants, so you know everything do you? So
then, there's no need for me to tell you that this other driver, this so called
Dr Who, doesn't exist and that the BBC is a mythical organisation. So Poo,
you're up for all the damages.
Never! Look Gonzales, there's a spider on your fly.
Where? Where? Where?
Quick Dana, into the Turdis.
It's all cisterns go.
Turdis takes off
Once more Dr Poo blasts off across the universe leaving a trail of pissed off bureaucrats, hysterical listeners, odd socks and a list of debts as long as somebody else's arm. Be sure to tune in before they repossess the next episode of Dr Poo-oo!
Transcribed by Phil from an off-air recording made by Warren.
Copyright is retained by the ABC, Triple J and Curtis, Kelso, Johnston & Matthews and no breach of copyright is intended by this reproduction.