Episode 140B
Intro to The Khan Ages (2/3)
November 1979

Opening titles

KEVIN

Well, Poo fans, this is it! Dana Sock is about to be reunited with her lost love, Neville Khan; or is it Neville Can't? Let's peer through the keyhole of time and find out, Aurie Orlock!

TURDIS LANDING NOISE

DR POO

Well, Dana, here we are outside the coliseum in Ancient Rome.

DANA

It beats the Western Suburbs, Doctor.

DR POO

Yes - the Seven Hills of Rome.

(Sound of mongrels approaching, drunkenly singing and shouting)

DANA

It's the Khans! Nev-i-ille!

(She runs off)

DR POO

Of course, it's Saturday! The big match: the saints versus the bears! Wait for me, Dana!

(Much noise from the assembled mongrels)

Genghis khan

Pass the jimmies, son.

Neville

Alright Dad.

DANA

Nev-i-ille!

(She plants a kiss)

NEVILLE

Ah, eurgh, yuck!

DANA

Neville, I've been living for this moment!

Neville

Ah, pew, get off me - I'm getting out of here.

DANA

O, come back, Nev-i-ille!

(DAna & Neville fade into the distance)

Khan 1

Woah, look at the Sheila! She's chasing Neville across the field!

(The mongrels shout their approval)

DR POO

Genghis, don't you recognise me?

Genghis KHAN

Hey - any of you blokes know this codger?

(They all shout 'no')

Off with the scarf, sport.

DR POO

Put me down, I'm Dr Poo!

Genghis KHAN

O yeah? Yeah, you don't look like Dr Poo!

DR POO

I've had a body transplant.

Genghis KHAN

If you're really the Doctor, then tell me: in what year was the War of 1812?

DR POO

Er - 1952. Including leap years, of course.

Genghis KHAN

Eh?

khan 2

I don't know, Dad, it hasn't happened yet.

Genghis KHAN

That's close enough for me. G'day, Poo!

(the mongrels shout their welcomes)

DR POO

Genghis, let's go and sink a few tubes.

Genghis KHAN

Sure thing. I know a great pub to pillage and tryst. OK, boys, I'm leaving the place in your hands.

(the khans cheer and shout)

KEVIN

When in Rome don't do as the mongrels do or you might go blind and miss the next Technicolor investivasion of Dr Poo-oo!

End titles



Written by Lance Curtis, Geoff Kelso, Steve Johnston and Ken Matthews.
Transcribed by Kevin from an off-air recording made by Warren.

Copyright is retained by the ABC, Triple J and Curtis, Kelso, Johnston & Matthews and no breach of copyright is intended by this reproduction.