Episode 140C
Intro to The Khan Ages (3/3)
November 1979

Opening titles

KEVIN

Friends, Romans and worshipers of the wonderful Poo, lend me your ears, and your cheque books, because the Doctor and his old drinking mate, Genghis Khan, thirsting for classical knowledge have stumbled into a local tavern!

(Dr Poo & Mongrels singing - 'Show me the way to go to Rome')

And stumbled out again!

DR POO

I do love these cobble stones flints, don't you, Genghis?

Genghis KHAN

Cobbles to you, Poo.

(The khans laugh raucously)

Tell me, Poo, where're you staying the night?

DR POO

Actually I can't stay.

Genghis KHAN

O, pity. You'll miss all the learning, and burning -

DR POO

Burning?!

Genghis KHAN

Yeah the boys are having a house-warming.

(Neville and Dana run up)

Neville

Help! Dad! Help!

DANA

Neville! Here I come, ready to -

(She yelps. pause.)

Ow, who kicked me?

DR POO

I had to, Dana. We've got to be going, and the last chariot leaves in five minutes.

DANA

Et tu, Doctor.

DR POO

Actually I ate three - I was very hungry. Thanks for the drinks, Genghis, we've got to be off.

Genghis KHAN

Where are you off to, Doctor?

DR POO

Well you see my accountant advised me that my financial position is looking a bit sticky, so I thought we'd take a holiday for four weeks while he sorted it out.

Genghis KHAN

Four weeks, eh?

DR POO

And which way are you going, Genghis?

Genghis KHAN

We thought we'd tourist through Gaul and wind up in Britannica before the pubs shut.

DR POO

O it's a rotten pity - we're off in the opposite direction.

(Under his breath)

Just as fast as we can.

(Calling)

Come on, Dana!

DANA

(Howling)

O but I want to stay with Neville!

DR POO

O alright, Dana... Go and get your things out of the Turdis.

DANA

Oh, goodie!

She opens the Turdis door

DR POO

See you in a month, Genghis!

Poo closes the door

DANA

Doctor? Have you seen my... Hey!

DR POO

All cisterns go!

TURDIS LANDING NOISE

Neville

Right Dad. I'm glad that dappy bird's gone. She looks like the south end of a northbound mastodon.

Genghis KHAN

You could do a lot worse, Neville.

NEVILLE

Yes, I suppose I could. But who wants to marry a slug?

Genghis KHAN

Shut up, Neville.

KEVIN

The Doctor and Dana have gone off, like an over-ripe Reg Grundy Production, and I've got my brochures, towels, sun tan lotion, so Waikiki here I come! O wait a minute I nearly forgot my shots.

Two gunshots

Argh, that's better. But don't forget, kids, listen in tomorrow for: The Khan Ages!

Dramatic music



Written by Lance Curtis, Geoff Kelso, Steve Johnston and Ken Matthews.
Transcribed by Kevin from an off-air recording made by Warren.

Copyright is retained by the ABC, Triple J and Curtis, Kelso, Johnston & Matthews and no breach of copyright is intended by this reproduction.