Episode 143
The Great Universal Cuckoo Clock of Time (1/29)
January 1980

OPENING TITLES

Kevin

Hey punsy fans of the wonderful Poo

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Hey fancy pans of the ponderful Woo

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Hey wacky poos of the underwear fans

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Hey

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Hey, hey

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Hey...

Dr Poo

I wonder what's the matter with Kevin

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...with Kevin today

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...today

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Dana

Pardon my ask

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...my ask

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...my asking you this Doctor but why do you have that funn...

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...funny whoop in your voice?

Dr Poo

You

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...should

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...talk Dana. You're doing it too

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...too

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...two, three, four

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Dana

Aw, don't be a

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...be a

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...be a silly billy

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Dr Poo

It's all right Dana, I understand what's going

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...going

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...going

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...going on.

Dana

What?

Dr Poo

It's a series of shock waves, reverberating through time, Dana. A time tremor. It seems to be over now.

Dana

A time tremor.

Dr Poo

Yes Dana, it's caused by some bits of time going slower than they ought to, and the bits of time coming up from behind running into them.

Dana

O well whose fault is it?

Dr Poo

Well morally it's an open question depending on the case but legally it's always the fault of the bit of time that's coming from behind.

Dana

No whose fault is it? Who makes the bits of time go slower?

Dr Poo

O well, somebody's probably forgotten to wind up The Great Universal Cuckoo Clock of Time. I suppose I'd better go and wind it up myself. If it runs down too much all the bits of time will pile up on top of each other and then everything that's left to happen, will happen all at the same time.

Dana

Doctor, then there'll be nothing left to happen ever again.

Dr Poo

That's right Dana but don't worry, it's never happened before.

Dana

Before what?

Dr Poo

Before now. Eh, hold on, it is now, now! No it isn't. It was now then, which means later is getting closer all time

Whooping sound

...time

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...time gentlemen please.

Kevin

Yes it's time gentlemen please. Please finish your episode and leave quietly but be our guest for the next early opener of Dr Poo-

Whooping sound

-oo!

End titles



Written by Lance Curtis, Geoff Kelso, Steve Johnston and Ken Matthews.
Transcribed by Phil from an off-air recording made by Warren.

Copyright is retained by the ABC, Triple J and Curtis, Kelso, Johnston & Matthews and no breach of copyright is intended by this reproduction.