Episode 148
The Great Universal Cuckoo Clock of Time (6/29)
January 1980

OPENING TITLES

Kevin

Well Poo fans, someone has stolen the key of time.

Dr Poo

Kevin I do think you should give the listeners a bit more detail.

Kevin

O right. Well gang, the Doctor is wearing a stunning little ensemble by Trench Napalm, tastefully set off by a long...

Dr Poo

Kevin, that's not what I meant. You should be telling them that we've entered the dimension of time and journey to the Great Universal Cuckoo Clock of Time, which I have to wind up before... um, ah before the last bus leaves.

Dana

Bus leaves?

Dr Poo

Yes, they're like tea leaves only bigger. But I can't wind it up because...

Everyone

Someone's stolen the key of time.

Crowd cheers

Dr Poo

Thank you. However, if I remember right there is a second key but for safety purposes, the guardians of time had it broken down into its seven components. Which were them hidden in various Stuarts and Cranneys around the universe.

Dana

Careful Doctor, someone might be listening.

Dr Poo

Why do you say that Dana?

Dana

Well there's a little man standing next to you with a tape recorder.

Dr Poo

What! I'll teach him to spy on me.

(Dr Poo strangles Denis)

Denis

Meow!

Dana

No Doctor, on the other side.

Dr Poo

Sorry Denis. Ah ha, here he is. I'll teach you to spy on me.

Dr Wee

Hurro ah Dr Poo.

Dr Poo

Great dunnies above, it's Dr Weeee.

Dr Wee

Ah so, we meet again ah Dr Poo. But this time I got you by the balls. Look here I have got first key of time.

Dr Poo

Holy harpic. You inscrutable universal oriental devil.

Dr Wee

And you will never assemble the seven little bits of second key of time, in time. Ah risten. The crock has stopped.

Dana

He's right Doctor. It's stopped ticking.

Dr Poo

No it hasn't.

Dr Poo kicks the Great Universal Cuckoo Clock of Time and it starts ticking

There! It's still going.

Dr Wee

Not for rong Poo. It will stop eventuarry and then whole universe will be mine.

Dr Poo

Not while there's breath left in this body.

Kevin

Why are you pointing at me, Doctor. You're the big hero, remember? That's why the show is called Dr Poo-oo!

End titles



Written by Lance Curtis, Geoff Kelso, Steve Johnston and Ken Matthews.
Transcribed by Phil from an off-air recording made by Warren.

Copyright is retained by the ABC, Triple J and Curtis, Kelso, Johnston & Matthews and no breach of copyright is intended by this reproduction.