Episode 151
The Great Universal Cuckoo Clock of Time (9/29)
January 1980

OPENING TITLES

Kevin

After their unnecessarily melodramatic confrontation with the ridiculously evil Dr Wee, Poo and Dana must set out to find the seven little bits of the spare key of time, so that they can wind up the universe.

Dr Poo

First, we have to get back to the Turdis. It's a good thing I left this trail of spaghetti. Ok Dana, take a strand and start sucking.

(Dana starts sucking the spaghetti)

Dana

(Burp)

Oh, 'scuse I.

Dr Poo

Now we climb through the back of the grandfather clock.

(The Doctor opens the door and they squeeze through)

Dana

O it's so nice to be back in the Turdis.

Dr Poo

Now there must be some way we can trace the first little bit of the spare key of time.

Dana

It could be under the mat.

Dr Poo

It should be at a point in the universe where all the spacio temporal forces are in perfect equilibrium.

Dana

Here it is Doctor, under the mat.

Dr Poo

Some point of such cosmic significance that energy flows through it without even touching the sky. What did you say Dana?

Dana

I found the first bit Doctor. It was under the mat.

Dr Poo

Oh that's just the note to the milkman.

Dana

No, listen to this. 'Two milks, two choc milks, one cream and a strawberry yoghurt. PS This is the first bit of the spare key of time.'

Dr Poo

But that's ridiculous, I don't even like strawberry yogurt.

Denis

Meow.

Dr Poo

O that's right Denis, you're the health food freak around here. What's that you're smoking Denis?

Denis

Reow.

Dr Poo

Well pass it over.

(The Doctor smokes the joint)

Ahh. Wow what a flash, I now know the significance of the note. The second bit of the key of time is with the cosmic milkman. All cisterns go.

Turdis takes off

Kevin

(Smoking the joint)

Wow what a buzz that was. But if you think that was good, wait to we open the um, ah, ahh the next little plastic bag of Dr Poo-oo!

END TITLES



Written by Lance Curtis, Geoff Kelso, Steve Johnston and Ken Matthews.
Transcribed by Phil from an off-air recording made by Warren.

Copyright is retained by the ABC, Triple J and Curtis, Kelso, Johnston & Matthews and no breach of copyright is intended by this reproduction.