Episode 152
The Great Universal Cuckoo Clock of Time (10/29)
January 1980

OPENING TITLES

Kevin

In a valiant four door sedan attempt to stop the universe crouching on a grand piano and going "wicky wicky phfft", Dr Poo is gathering up the seven little bits of the spare key of time.


Sound of TURDIS landing. Door opens

DR POO

Ah yes, this is the place. The Milky Way Co-Operative Dairy Products Bulk Handling and Storage Depot place. This is where we'll find the cosmic milkman.

DANA

Dr, why are we looking for the cosmic milkman? You know Dennis has still got a keg and a half of strawberry yogurt left over from yesterday.

DR POO

Ah no Dana, the first little bit of the spare key of time is this note, see, to the milkman. Therefore, by logical deduction, it follows in a trench coat with a hat pulled down over its eyes, that the cosmic milkman is the clue to the little bit number two.

Sound of milk cart approaching

Ah ha, the milkman cometh. Hail to thee, O great cosmic milkman, mighty vendor of the yummy milky substances to divine celestial beings.

NIETZSCHE

(With a cockney accent)

O pack it in mate. If you want a free bottle of milk, just take it off the cart.

DR POO

Ah yes.

(Clears throat)

Speak that we may learn the secret of the second little bit of the spare key of time.

NIETZSCHE

No, not me mate. I don't know nothing about it. You'll have to speak to the 'orse here. He handles all that there cosmic stuff.

Dr & DANA

The horse!

NIETZSCHE

Yeah, but not this bit here. Try the front end.

DR POO

O hmm ah yes. Hello horse.

Horse snorts

O um, what a lovely black colour you are. Who's a pretty boy then?

ZARATHUSTRA

Don't patronise me with that goo-goo jive, you honky.

DANA

He talked Dr! He talked.

ZARATHUSTRA

What do ya expect me to do, dance?

DR POO

I'm sorry but... I... I didn't really believe that you could, ah...

ZARATHUSTRA

Talk.

DR POO

Yes. I mean I didn't mean to insult you darky.

KEVIN

No he didn't mean to but he made a damn good attempt and he'll make a damn good attempt to not mean to in the next black and white episode of Dr Po-oo!

End titles



Written by Lance Curtis, Geoff Kelso, Steve Johnston and Ken Matthews.
Transcribed by Phil from an off-air recording made by Warren.

Copyright is retained by the ABC, Triple J and Curtis, Kelso, Johnston & Matthews and no breach of copyright is intended by this reproduction.