Episode 155
The Great Universal Cuckoo Clock of Time (13/29)
January 1980

OPENING TITLES

Kevin

To appreciate the subtle stereophonic quality of this episode, simply become two people and then stand yourselves in opposite corners of the room. Failing that, turn the volume up so loud that it desexes your cat.

DENNIS

Meow.

KEVIN

All right Dennis; you're excused from this episode which is starting now.

Sound of Dr Poo and Dana running

DR POO

Ah, oh, come on Dana, into the TURDIS. Now where's that record?

DANA

What are you looking for, Dr?

DR POO

I told you Dana. It's a Wonder Crap record called A Hundred Pulverising Philosophy Hits. No, not there. No, that's not it. Ah here it is. Wait a minute, Traditional Estonian Frog Strangling Music - Volume Forty Six. This is the wrong record.

Sound of video screen coming on

DANA

Look Dr, on the video screen. It's Dr Wee.

DR WEE

Ah rooking for this ah Dr Poo?

DR POO

So you've got the record you crazy Chinese naughty person.

DR WEE

O is poor little Dr Poo angirary with me? Ah so sorry but when overhear in rast episode that third little bit of key of time is record of Rene Nightcartes say "I stink therefore I am", well naturary I steal record.

DR POO

Don't hold it like that Wee; you'll put finger marks on it.

DR WEE

OK.

Dr Wee drops the record and it breaks

O me blake record. What a pity. Ah now you'll never put together spare key of time and your goody goody occidental universe is ah doomed. O ho ho ho.

DR POO

O the fiendish swine. Without that record the universe will be destroyed.

KEVIN

Here Dr, you'd better borrow my copy.

DR POO

O thank you Kevin. It's the import copy too.

Dr Poo plays the record

Nightcartes

Bonjour. Je suis Rene Nightcartes. I stink, therefore I am. It logically follows that I like boy scouts. Q.E.D. my psychiatrist has advised me to open my raincoat and expose myself to the next little episode of Poo-oo!

End titles



Written by Lance Curtis, Geoff Kelso, Steve Johnston and Ken Matthews.
Transcribed by Phil from an off-air recording made by Warren.

Copyright is retained by the ABC, Triple J and Curtis, Kelso, Johnston & Matthews and no breach of copyright is intended by this reproduction.