Episode 159
The Great Universal Cuckoo Clock of Time (17/29)
January 1980

OPENING TITLES

Kevin

On board the HMS Fifth Little Bit of the Spare Key of Time, our heroes are struggling through a cargo of thousands of electric fans; searching desperately for the one particular fan which is the sixth little bit of the aforementioned key. Is that clear? Good.


Sound of them rummaging through the fans

DANA

Dr, how do we tell which is the right fan?

DR POO

You look at the label on the bottom, Dana.

DANA

But you've got your trousers on.

(The Dr hits Dana)

Ow!

DR POO

Now let's see; what does the label on this fan say.

(The Dr starts reading the labels on the bottom of the fans he picks up)

This fan is not the sixth little bit of the spare key of time. Oh. This is not it either. Oh. This could be it but it's not. Oh. Bad luck, this is not the one.

KEVIN

Lots and lots of time later during the same episode.

DR POO

No, try again dummy. You picked me up two hours ago. Wrong again. Yes, this is the one. Not this one, it's the one you just threw away drongo... What! Oh blast. Where did I put it?

KEVIN

And so, lots and lots of more time later.

DR POO

Not this one. Stop picking me up. Sorry. Damn dunnies, where is that blasted fan? The next one you pick up will be the one. Ah ha, yes this is the one. What kept you? I found it. This fan is little bit number six. We've only got to get one more bit to find and the universe will be saved.

Dana & STAINES

O goody.

DR POO

Right, let's get back to the TURDIS. Where's Dennis?

DANA

He's over there Dr, listening to his tranny.

DR POO

Dennis, do you mean to say, you were sitting here while we were desperately trying to save the universe.

DENNIS

Meow.

DR POO

O, so a Bob Dylan special is more important, eh?

DENNIS

(singing to Bob Dylan's Blowin' in the Wind)

Meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow Meow meow meow meow meow meow meow

DR POO

And stop that caterwauling.

DENNIS

Meow.

DANA

It's Bob Dylan's Blowin' in the Wind, Dr. Dennis is a big fan of his.

DR POO

Fan? Blowin' in the Wind? Bob Dylan? Yes the seventh little bit must be Bob Dylan.

KEVIN

How many times can a radio audience shake its head and pretend it doesn't understand. The answer my friend is blowing in the wind of the next episode of Dr Poo-oo!

End titles



Written by Lance Curtis, Geoff Kelso, Steve Johnston and Ken Matthews.
Transcribed by Phil from an off-air recording made by Warren.

Copyright is retained by the ABC, Triple J and Curtis, Kelso, Johnston & Matthews and no breach of copyright is intended by this reproduction.