Episode 162
The Great Universal Cuckoo Clock of Time (20/29)
January 1980

OPENING TITLES

Kevin

Turtling though spice and tame, the Dr now has all seven of the seven little bits of the spare key of time. One. The note to the milkman. Two. The pile of horse manure. Three. The philosophical concept, I stink therefore I am. Four. The boy scout with matching woggle. Five. The ship. Six. The electric fan and Seven. Bob Dylan, whom the Dr captured in the last episode and stuffed into a sea chest on board the TURDIS.

Sound of Dylan trying to get out

DR POO

Hello Bob. How does it feel?

DYLAN

There must be some way out of here.

DR POO

Keep calm Bob. Any day now, any way now, you shall be released. Well Dana, now that we've got all the seven little bits, it's back to the centre of time, where we'll reassemble the spare key of time, then wind up the Great Universal Cuckoo Clock of Time. I wish I didn't have to say time all the time.

DANA

I don't know Dr, my watch has stopped. But I think it's about eleven o'clock.

DR POO

Holy harpic, we're running out of ti...me. We haven't got much er. It's a race against ah. O we'd better be quick. All cisterns go.

Sound of the TURDIS taking off

KEVIN

In no time at all they are back at the centre of time.

DR POO

Well Dana, we're here.

DANA

O that's good. I thought we were still over there.

DR POO

Shut up Dana. Go and see if that ship is still moored to the tortoise. I mean mared to the TURDIS.

(Dana opens door)

Foghorn

DANA

Yes, it's still here.

DR POO

OK Dana, bring it in.

foghorn

(Sound of Dana manoeuvring the ship)

Right to me Dana, to me. Now to the left. No the left. Look out for the elephant tank.

Foghorn

DANA

Have you got your end in yet Dr? I can't tell from over here.

DR POO

Yes Dana, my end's in. Now we push together.

(Sound of Dr Poo and Dana groaning)

Foghorn

Poo & DANA

Oh oh oh.

Sound of ship squeezing through and then popping sound

Ahhhhh!

KEVIN

Once again a natural law has been defied by the performance of an unnatural act. And naturally it was done by your actual Dr Poo-oo!

END TITLES



Written by Lance Curtis, Geoff Kelso, Steve Johnston and Ken Matthews.
Transcribed by Phil from an off-air recording made by Warren.

Copyright is retained by the ABC, Triple J and Curtis, Kelso, Johnston & Matthews and no breach of copyright is intended by this reproduction.