Episode 172
Dr Poo in Ancient Egypt (i)
February 1980

Opening titles

Kevin

Hey gang, isn't it amazing, the things you pick up when you're flying around the universe in an intergalactic toilet. At this precise moment the Doctor is showing Dana his fantastic memorabilia.

Dana

What's that thing you've got Doctor?

Dr Poo

O this old thing; I've had this for years. Beautiful isn't it.

Dana

Yes but what is it?

Dr Poo

I don't know. I may as well throw it away, eh?

Sound of flapping wings

Well splash my boots, the damn thing flies.

Dana

Don't worry Doctor, I'll get it. Where did you get all this junk, Doctor?

Dr Poo

Well Dana, some of it comes from grateful peoples of many divine civilizations.

Dana

O you mean this little jewel encrusted gold statue for instance.

Dr Poo

No Dana. I won that in a lucky dip on the Sodom and Gomorrah school fete.

Dana

And you kept it for sentimental reasons.

Dr Poo

No I kept it because it's worth a fortune but most of these other trinkets can go.

Dana

How about the lizard, Doctor?

Dr Poo

I'm ignoring that lizard, Dana.

Dana

Why?

Dr Poo

Because he is ignoring me. He hasn't said a single thing to me all day.

Dana

But Doctor, lizards can't talk.

Dr Poo

What! Look at me lizard. Is this true? You deceitful reptile. You've led me a merry dance; haven't you? Denis, remove the lizard.

Denis

Meow, yum yum.

Dr Poo

Well that's cleared that up. Now I'll put this bug out for the St Vincent De Polecat Society and I think that will just about do us. What do you say Dana?

Dana

Ah Egypt. It's written on the bottle of flies.

Dr Poo

Let me see Dana. This bottle of flies always remains the property of CJ Ramasses & Company. Reedbed No 3. Upper Nile Street, Ancient Egypt.

Sound of flies buzzing

Holy harpic, these flies are still alive. I'll take them back and get the deposit. All cisterns go.

Kevin

Wave to your mummy, kiss your dung beetle goodbye and say hello Egypt as we fly into the next deposit of Dr Poo-oo!

END TITLES



Written by Lance Curtis, Geoff Kelso, Steve Johnston and Ken Matthews.
Transcribed by Phil from an NAA recording.

Copyright is retained by the ABC, Triple J and Curtis, Kelso, Johnston & Matthews and no breach of copyright is intended by this reproduction.