Knee's Ahoy! (iii)
The dreaded Captain Nemoss and the slightly water damaged Dr
Poo stand on a tropical beach and prepare for a fight to the Finnish or the
Danish or the Norwegian.
Hello, I am Bjorn Free, famous Norwegian piano tuner.
Sound of gun firing and Bjorn falls dead
No, I'll think they will fight to the finish.
Silence. Choose the weapons Doctor.
All right Nemoss, I choose banjos.
So, duelling banjos. Very well and remember Doctor this is a
fart to the death. Are you ready?
Good luck Doctor. Kill him.
And a one and a two and a one, two, three...
They duel to the music Duelling Banjos
Sound of punches thrown
Bell rings for the end of Round 1
How am I doing, Dana?
Well, you've opened up a big cut on his chin.
That's his mouth, Dana.
My banjo looks a bit knocked about, doesn't it?
That's because you keep hitting Nemoss on the head with it.
That's the object of the fight, Dana. We hit each other on
the head with these banjos until one of us looks like Sylvester Stallone.
I think I've got Nemoss worried.
Why? Did you tell him he left the gas on at home?
No Dana of course I didn't... Wait a minute, that's a good
Bell rings for second round
You left the gas on at home.
No I didn't. Or did I, now let me think. I locked the back
door and then I walked...
Sound of banjo hitting NemoSS
Well there you have it ladies and gentle Poo. Captain Nemoss down and out in the second round from a banjo to the top of the head. And the winner and still grizzling champion is Muhammad Al Doctor formerly Cassius Poo-oo!
Transcribed by Phil from an NAA recording.
Copyright is retained by the ABC, Triple J and Curtis, Kelso, Johnston & Matthews and no breach of copyright is intended by this reproduction.