Episode 312
Kak-Ronald's (xvi)
Tue 26 August 1980

Opening titles

Kevin

Rocket Doctor Poo is rock pop pocketing post-haste Cackwards in his teapot frightening Turdis, with a gallimaufry of gregarious clowns.

Clowns

Yeah, yeah

(Horns blowing)

Dr Poo

I'm worried about Dana.

Pinko

Tell me comrade Doctor. Why are you worried about your beautiful assistant?

Dr Poo

I'm not really all that concerned about her Pinko. I'm just trying to get this damn plot moving.

Pinko

Yeah, this adventure does seem to have settled in for the winter, doesn't it?

Dr Poo

Well, I suspect that whoever is behind this evil Kak-Ronald's business, is consciously retarding the plot; probably by drugging the tape recorders and paying off the writers or paying off the tape recorders and drugging the writers.

Wacko

How about drugging some of the characters, man.

Pinko

Aw, shut up Wacko.

Dr Poo

But the fact Ramones, that nothing much has happened for the last few...

Kevin

All right, you want action, you've got it! In a split second, they've landed on the evil planet Cack

Turdis landing noise

Where the Doctor and the clowns join Dana in destroying an entire army of robotic Kak-Ronald's clowns.

Sounds of mass destruction

Dana

Hey, I didn't think I was in this episode.

Dr Poo

What is going on?

Kevin

When suddenly a monstrous blood thirsty sweet potato hurtles out of the ground and devours all the nice real clowns.

Pinko

Hang on!

Blood thirsty roar from the sweet potato

Kevin

But at that very moment, a huge fleet of battle cruisers zooms in out of the sun and obliterates the entire planet Cack with mega-lasers.

Sound of lasers, then planet blows up

But luckily the Doctor, Dana and Denis escape in the nick of time and also in the Turdis.

Dr Poo

Oh!

Denis

Meow.

Dr Poo

Well that was a bit of a surprise; that adventure finishing like that.

Dana

Ah yes, mm. What will we do now?

Dr Poo

Have lunch I suppose. Mmmm. These mega-lasers sure cook a mean sweet potato.

Dana

Talk about a mean sweet potato. Did you see the way it ripped the heads off those clowns?

Kevin

Well it's lunch on the second day. So why don't we all lie back and relax in a hammock with Dr Poo-oo!

END TITLES



Written by Lance Curtis, Geoff Kelso, Steve Johnston and Ken Matthews.
Transcribed by Phil from his own off-air recording.

Copyright is retained by the ABC, Triple J and Curtis, Kelso, Johnston & Matthews and no breach of copyright is intended by this reproduction.