Episode 313
Bernie Smith (1/3)
Wed 27 August 1980

Opening titles

Beat Generation music is being played in the background

Kevin

Well Poo groovers; in our last hip episode, lots of real cool things went down. Yeah. But do you hip cats want to be laid on by me with some corny blast from the past - Wow, no. So what do you say we split this scene and groove on down and catch the Doctor man and his bebop cool Turdis, yeah.

Dana

Wow Doctor Man. I really dug the way you wrapped up that last adventure. I mean man, like it was the most.

Dr Poo

What are you on about, Dana?

Dana

I'm on about seventy five cents a week, man. Can you like, ah, dig it, yeah.

Dr Poo

I'm taking this record off. I can't understand a word you're saying.

Sound of needle being scratched along the record

There!

Dana

O thank you, Doctor, what a relief. For a minute there I was starting to grow a little beard and a pair of sunglasses. You know what I'm like listening to records. I get so carried away.

Dr Poo

Yes. Like last night when you were listening to the Sex Pistols, you spat all over me and nearly ripped Denis to shreds

Dana

O yeah. Sorry about that. But I fixed him up with some safety pins

Dr Poo

That Dana is as may be. But you pinned his tail to the top of his head and now every time he looks around he falls rectum over breast. Don't you Denis.

Denis

Meow, meow

(Falls over)

Reeoow.

Dana

I think he looks good. And anyway, it makes him easier to carry; like a little denim overnight bag.

Dr Poo

Look, Dana. Unpin his tail or I'll get the Café Society for the Prevention of Conversion to Luggage of Denim Cats, onto you.

Dana

There's no such organisation.

Knock at the door and the door is opened


Ray

Hi cats.

Denis

Meow, reoowwrr.

(Falls rectum over breast)

Ray

Hey man, what's cooking here. You've converted this cat into a piece of luggage. Now that's uncool.

Dana

What's it to you?

Ray

A little denim overnight bag. I'll have an eyeball and see what's inside.

Zip!

Far out man, it's the next real cool session of Dr Poo yeahhhh.



Written by Lance Curtis, Geoff Kelso, Steve Johnston and Ken Matthews.
Transcribed by Phil from his own off-air recording.

Copyright is retained by the ABC, Triple J and Curtis, Kelso, Johnston & Matthews and no breach of copyright is intended by this reproduction.