Episode 317
Garry Sock's Wedding (2/15)
Tue 2 September 1980

Opening titles

Kevin

Poo fans; pause for a moment with me now and ponder the awesome beauty of infinite space. And against that magnificent backdrop, picture if you will, a flying dunny careering regally through space. Aah, it's enough to make you go out and punch a bus.

Dr Poo

Or an announcer.

Kevin

Oh Doctor, just when I was waxing lyrical.

Dr Poo

Put your lyrical wax away, Kevin and go and sit in the corner.

Kevin

Oh

(KEVIN Starts crying )

Dana

Doctor.

Dr Poo

Yes Dana.

Dana

Ah nothing.

Dr Poo

Oh.

Dana

Doctor.

Dr Poo

What is it Dana?

Dana

O it's not important.

Dr Poo

Alright.

Dana

Um Doctor.

Dr Poo

What do you want Dana.

Dana

I forget.

Dr Poo

O do you.

Dana

No no don't hit me. Don't hit me with that elephant's gum boot. I'll remember. Um, it's on the tip of my tongue.

Dr Poo

Alright, let's have a look.

Sound of Tongue being pulled out

Dana

Eek.

Dr Poo

O I see.

Dana

Oooo.

Sound of Tongue being retracted

Dr Poo

Ah, well Dana, the reason is, is that this is the start of a new denture. Which means there's no teeth as yet and we just have to wait for something to happen.

Knock at the door

Bagpipe Wrestler

Open up, open up. It's important. Open up.

Dr Poo

Holy harpic. It sounds like the start of a new adventure.

Dr Poo opens the door

Bagpipe Wrestler

Does Eugene Caruthers live here?

Dr Poo

Oh yes. EUGENE, it's for me, Tarzan.

Tarzan

No, me Tarzan.

(Tarzan's yell)

gunshot

Jane

I can't take him anywhere.

Dr Poo

It must be the smell. Ah, Eugene, there's a manic door thumper, a trigger happy Jane and a decomposing Tarzan here to see you.

Eugene

Ah guys, what are you doing here? The massed bagpipe wrestling rehearsal isn't 'til tomorrow.

Dana

Hey, who's this?

Dr Poo

This is Eugene, Dana. He rents the room upstairs.

Dana

I didn't know that.

Eugene

Sorry about this Doctor. Come on guys, you might as well come upstairs. We'll do some limbering up exercises on the sousaphone.

Knock at the door

Dr Poo

Ah, this must be the new adventure.

Door is opened

Kevin

Yes this is it. Round one of a new world championship bagpipe wrestle on Dr Poo-oo!

END TITLES



Written by Lance Curtis, Geoff Kelso, Steve Johnston and Ken Matthews.
Transcribed by Phil from his own off-air recording.

Copyright is retained by the ABC, Triple J and Curtis, Kelso, Johnston & Matthews and no breach of copyright is intended by this reproduction.