Episode 322
Garry Sock's Wedding (7/15)
Tue 9 September 1980

Opening titles

Kevin

Shh Poo fans. During this episode you're all going to have to sit very still and be on your best beehive, as we enter the church to witness the wedding of Dana's brother, Garry Sock

Church door opens

(murmuring of guests)

Dr Poo

We seem to be late.

Valerie

Not really Mr Poo. This is still the warm up act.

Dana

No, it's not Mr Poo, you call him Doctor, cousin Valerie.

Valerie

Doctor Cousin Valerie, Dana.

(Dr Poo hits cousin Valerie)

Ow!

Dr Poo

Well, what's going on?

Dana

O that's Aunty Ruth wrestling Cyril, her pet anaconda. She does it at every wedding. She's very religious, you know.

Sound of someone gasping, guests cheer and clap

Minister

And Aunty Ruth wins three falls to nil. Thank you, Aunty Ruth and Cyril. And don't forget tomorrow night, you can see Aunty Ruth and Cyril, take on second cousin Mervin and his boa constrictor, Basil; in a tag team high mass over five rounds.

Valerie

Come on Dana, there's seats for the family and friends down the front.

Dana

O look Doctor, there's my dear old Mum and Dad. Next to them there's an empty seat.

Dr Poo

Pew, Dana.

Dana

What do you mean, pew? They may be a couple of old Socks but they don't smell that bad. Hello Mum

(Kisses her)

Hello Dad

(Kisses him)

Mr Sock

Who are you?

Mrs Sock

It's your daughter, Dana, Dad.

Mr Sock

My daughter Dana Dad, o dear.

(Mrs Sock slaps Mr Sock)

Ow! Thank you dear, I needed that.

Mrs Sock

You remember our daughter, Dana. She's the one with your nose.

Mr Sock

Really, well that's a relief. I thought I'd left the damn thing on the train.

Mrs Sock

Shh! I think it's about to start.

Minister

And now we come to the main event on our card. Garry Sock, the professional armoured tank impersonator verses his fiancée, the recently defected Russian tractor thrower, Natasha Merillsnapyourneckoff. In the celebration of their nuptial Massey Ferguson, one, two, three, four.

MUSIC: Wagner's Bridal Chorus

Kevin

Here comes the bride. O no, her tractor's just broken down, so she won't get here 'til the next blessed load of Dr Poo-oo!

End titles



Written by Lance Curtis, Geoff Kelso, Steve Johnston and Ken Matthews.
Transcribed by Phil from his own off-air recording.

Copyright is retained by the ABC, Triple J and Curtis, Kelso, Johnston & Matthews and no breach of copyright is intended by this reproduction.