Episode 322 Garry Sock's Wedding (7/15) Tue 9 September 1980 Opening titles Kevin Shh Poo fans. During this episode you're all going to have to sit very still and be on your best beehive, as we enter the church to witness the wedding of Dana's brother, Garry Sock Church door opens (murmuring of guests) Dr Poo We seem to be late. Valerie Not really Mr Poo. This is still the warm up act. Dana No, it's not Mr Poo, you call him Doctor, cousin Valerie. Valerie Doctor Cousin Valerie, Dana. (Dr Poo hits cousin Valerie) Ow! Dr Poo Well, what's going on? Dana O that's Aunty Ruth wrestling Cyril, her pet anaconda. She does it at every wedding. She's very religious, you know. Sound of someone gasping, guests cheer and clap Minister And Aunty Ruth wins three falls to nil. Thank you, Aunty Ruth and Cyril. And don't forget tomorrow night, you can see Aunty Ruth and Cyril, take on second cousin Mervin and his boa constrictor, Basil; in a tag team high mass over five rounds. Valerie Come on Dana, there's seats for the family and friends down the front. Dana O look Doctor, there's my dear old Mum and Dad. Next to them there's an empty seat. Dr Poo Pew, Dana. Dana What do you mean, pew? They may be a couple of old Socks but they don't smell that bad. Hello Mum (Kisses her) Hello Dad (Kisses him) Mr Sock Who are you? Mrs Sock It's your daughter, Dana, Dad. Mr Sock My daughter Dana Dad, o dear. (Mrs Sock slaps Mr Sock) Ow! Thank you dear, I needed that. Mrs Sock You remember our daughter, Dana. She's the one with your nose. Mr Sock Really, well that's a relief. I thought I'd left the damn thing on the train. Mrs Sock Shh! I think it's about to start. Minister And now we come to the main event on our card. Garry Sock, the professional armoured tank impersonator verses his fiancée, the recently defected Russian tractor thrower, Natasha Merillsnapyourneckoff. In the celebration of their nuptial Massey Ferguson, one, two, three, four. MUSIC: Wagner's Bridal Chorus Kevin Here comes the bride. O no, her tractor's just broken down, so she won't get here 'til the next blessed load of Dr Poo-oo! End titles Written by Lance Curtis, Geoff Kelso, Steve Johnston and Ken Matthews. Transcribed by Phil from his own off-air recording. Copyright is retained by the ABC, Triple J and Curtis, Kelso, Johnston & Matthews and no breach of copyright is intended by this reproduction.