Episode 326
Garry Sock's Wedding (11/15)
Mon 15 September 1980

Opening titles

Kevin

Wrap your ears around this Poo acolytes. The Doctor and his entourage are presently visiting the environs of slap bang in the middle of your home town. And it can be arranged by sending large amounts of money or blank cheques to the Kevin the Announcer Benevolent Fund, for your hero to materialise in your very living room.

Dr Poo

Don't say another word, Kevin or I'll shove this gardening shed down your garrulous gullet.

Kevin

Oooh.

Dr Poo

You remember the trouble you had with that dog kennel last time.

Kevin

Oooh.

Dr Poo

Good. It's alright Poo fans. Keep all your clothes on. I'm not going to materialise in your living room but in the living room of Dana's family.

Dana

Yes, cause my brother Garry, just got married to his wife and Mum and Dad are holding the wedding reception to ransom at home.

Turdis landing noisE

Nice landing Doctor. Right on top of Uncle Ben's budgie.

Dr Poo

Oh I am sorry.

Dana

That's alright. None of the other budgies liked him anyway.

Bobby

Hello Dana.

Dana

O Doctor, this is my little brother Bobby Sock.

Dr Poo

Hello young man.

Bobby

Get stuffed mister. Hey, a pussy cat.

(Bobby picks up Denis and swings him around and around and around)

Denis

Meow, meow, meow, meowwwwww

(Crashes into the dip)

Dana

Naughty Booby. Mustn't throw Denis into the dip.

Bobby

He said he was hungry.

Dr Poo

Why weren't you at the wedding, Bobby?

Dana

O Doctor. The last time we took Bobby to church, he killed the minister.

Bobby

Yeah, I got five arrows into him before he hit the pulpit.

Mrs Sock

O Bobby, there you are. Come on, it's time for your heroin injection.

Bobby

O Mum.

Mrs Sock

Come on.

Bobby

O gee whiz.

Dr Poo

What!

Dana

O well, mum figures if she gets him hooked on heroin early, he'll be dead by the time he's twelve. I'll get us some drinks eh?

Dr Poo

Ok Dana.

(Hums)

O Garry.

Garry

Pardon.

Dr Poo

Garry.

Garry

Garry? O he's around here somewhere. I'll see if I can find him for you.

Dr Poo

No, you're Garry.

Garry

Am I? Ah well. I can't stop, someone's calling me. Garry, Garry.

Dr Poo

He's stupider than Dana. And I should know because I'm Dr Poo. Hello, someone's calling me. Dr Poo, Dr Poo, Dr Poo-oo!

End titles



Written by Lance Curtis, Geoff Kelso, Steve Johnston and Ken Matthews.
Transcribed by Phil from his own off-air recording.

Copyright is retained by the ABC, Triple J and Curtis, Kelso, Johnston & Matthews and no breach of copyright is intended by this reproduction.