Episode 327
Garry Sock's Wedding (12/15)
Tue 16 September 1980

Opening titles

Kevin

This Poo fans, has to be the worst episode of Dr Poo ever. The writing is puerile and the acting isn't even up to the standard of the Restless Young Doctor Shop. In fact, it's so bad I'm not even going to announce it.

Dr Poo

Hello Poo fans. Sounds like Kevin's throwing a tit of a bantrum eh. Aha ha ha. What a cupid stunt he is. I reckon this is a gam good episode. The writing is very rontant and I wouldn't say our performances were below mar. How about do Yana?

Dana

Ah Doctor, shouldn't we explain to everyone how we're at my brother Garry's wedding reception. Here at my Mum and Dad's house.

Dr Poo

No rats all thight Dana. You just lilled the fistners in.

Dana

Doctor, I think you've had one too many.

Dr Poo

O don't be such a venwagon Dana. Come on, let's get out on the dance floor and bake it up a shit.

Dana

O Doctor, you're incorrigible.

Dr Poo

No I'm not. I'm in your Mum and Dad's living room.

(Dana slaps Dr Poo)

Ow.

Dana

I'm going to the bar to order a long cold tin whistle in a tall glass.

Dr Poo

A tin whistle, Mmm. Sounds interesting. What's in a tin whistle.

Dana

A little pea. And you blow through one end and it goes phssttphff. Only louder.

Dr Poo

O, I thought your tin whistle was a drink.

Dana

Aw, don't be silly. Can you imagine a football referee running round with a drink in his hand. He'd blow on it and no one would take any notice.

Mr Sock

Aah, you're right there, Dana.

Dana

O hello Dad.

Mr Sock

You know when I was a football referee, I'd blow on my drink and nobody would take any notice.

Dana

Well I'd like a drink except I can't see where the bar is.

Mr Sock

There isn't one.

Dana

No bar?

Mr Sock

(Singing to the tune Yes, We have no bananas)

Yes, we have no bar, Dana We have no bar, Dana today.

(Dana hits him)

Ow!

Dr Poo

Dana, how dare you hit your own father.

Dana

I'm sorry but I didn't have time to borrow someone else's.

Kevin

Hit your own father. An exciting new game from Poo Toys. Fun for the whole family (except Dad). On sale now from your nearest outlet of Dr Poo-oo!

End titles



Written by Lance Curtis, Geoff Kelso, Steve Johnston and Ken Matthews.
Transcribed by Phil from his own off-air recording.

Copyright is retained by the ABC, Triple J and Curtis, Kelso, Johnston & Matthews and no breach of copyright is intended by this reproduction.