Episode 328
Garry Sock's Wedding (13/15)
Wed 17 September 1980

Opening titles

Kevin

The time now, the place here and the event...

Sound of people mingling

Yes, that's the event.

Dr Poo

Lovely reception Mr Sock.

Mr Sock

Ah ta.

Dr Poo

You must be very proud of your son, Garry and his new wife Natasha.

Mr Sock

No, I'm not proud of Garry. He's about as useful as a ton of nuns in a thunderstorm. But I'm real proud of Natasha. You know she's the first ex-Olympic Russian tractor thrower we've ever had in the Sock family.

Dr Poo

You don't say.

Mr Sock

Don't I?

Dr Poo

Um yes. What do you do for a crust, Mr Sock?

Mr Sock

Oo well, cover myself in bread dough and sit in the oven until I'm golden brown, I suppose.

Dr Poo

O for Bernie Smith's sake.

Dana

DAD, DAD, time for your speech.

Mr Sock

Ah, excuse me Dr Pog.

Dr Poo

Good grief, what a cretin.

Dana

Were you talking to me, Doctor?

Dr Poo

No Dana. I was talking to your father.

Dana

O yeah. Isn't he a cretin.

Dr Poo

Hm indeed. What does he do for a living?

Dana

He's a painter at the Smarties factory.

Dr Poo

Really. What does he paint?

Dana

He paints the colours on the smarties. And he's a part time rat barber.

Dr Poo

A rat barber?

Dana

He does hair styling for rats. It's really just a hobby but he's very good. He's better than those poofs at the unisex rat coiffure in the shopping centre.

Mr Sock hits a glass

Mr Sock

Ah, can I have a bit of shush please. Friends, this is a special occasion for we Socks. Not only has our boy, Garry, married the lovely Natasha from Russia but the lovely Natasha has in return married our boy Garry.

(Guests applaud and affirm Mr Sock's comments)

And also, our dear daughter Dana has come home.

Guests

Hooray.

Mr Sock

And as if that isn't enough cause for celebration, Dana's friend Dr Pog...

Dr Poo

O Bernie Smith.

Mr Sock

...has landed his flying dunny right on top of Uncle Ben.

Guests

Hooray.

Mr Sock

So charge your glasses and drink a toast to Garry, Natasha, Dana and Dr Pog-gg!

End titles

2JJ DJ Doug Mulray

I didn't realise that this was the wedding, I feel so clumsy, I've only got a T-shirt on.



Written by Lance Curtis, Geoff Kelso, Steve Johnston and Ken Matthews.
Transcribed by Phil from his own off-air recording.

Copyright is retained by the ABC, Triple J and Curtis, Kelso, Johnston & Matthews and no breach of copyright is intended by this reproduction.