Episode 329
Garry Sock's Wedding (14/15)
Thu 18 September 1980

Opening titles

Kevin

Dana's brother Garry, has just been wedded and it has now come round to speech time at the reception. So, Poo fans, charge you glasses. Now if by some mischance, you happen to be unfamiliar with this aspect of social etiquette, let me demonstrate how to charge your glass. Glass, you are charged with being under the influence of alcohol. You have the right to remain silent and to seek legal counsel. Got that gang? Right. Now on with the reception.

Sound of Mr Sock hitting a glass

Mr Sock

Aah, your attention.

Mrs Sock

Stop hitting that glass dear, you'll have the civil liberties down on us.

Mr Sock

Oh, sorry mother. Ah hum. And now our son Garry, will say a few words.

(Guests applaud)

Garry

Thanks Dad. I'd just like to say a few words. Sky, tree, bucket. And to the bridesmaids, I'd especially like to say cobberowooo.

(Natasha hits Garry)

Oww. Sorry Natasha.

Natasha

Ho.

Mr Sock

And now Garry's thirty stone little woman, Natasha, will say a few words.

Natasha

Da, comrade strangers. I to this country thank you welcome very much. Very happy ho ho ho. More vodka please. Da, gulp, slurp.

Sound of breaking glass

My family come from very poor village. With to our relations, we have collective ownership of a tomato. But better than old days when we have to rent tomato from landlord.

Dana

What country is she talking about, Doctor?

Dr Poo

Russia, Dana.

Dana

O all right, if you say so. Aaarrrrr!

Dr Poo

Dana, what are you doing?

Dana

Well you said rush her. Whoa aarrr!

(Dana and Natasha grapple. Crowd cheers and urges them on)

Kevin

Hey, Dana's hopped in for a battered Slav. What Volga behaviour. Well, I Moscow now but if Ukraine your necks and Lenin close to your radios, Ural hear us commit another Crimea on Comrade Poo-oo!

End titles

2JJJ DJ Doug Mulray

That's terrible.

(Laughs)

It's twenty five and a half minutes past seven at Triple J. I don't think I'll mention my name so shortly after that...



Written by Lance Curtis, Geoff Kelso, Steve Johnston and Ken Matthews.
Transcribed by Phil from his own off-air recording.

Copyright is retained by the ABC, Triple J and Curtis, Kelso, Johnston & Matthews and no breach of copyright is intended by this reproduction.