Episode 330
Garry Sock's Wedding (15/15)
Fri 19 September 1980

Opening titles

Kevin

There comes a time in every person's life when finally they must settle down and assume the responsibilities of marriage. Hoo, hoo. And that time for Garry Sock is now. As it is for his extremely attractive (ah ha ha) wife Natasha. The whole Sock clan are gathered together to celebrate in the traditional manner, this new found maturity.

Sound of guests fighting

Dr Poo

Denis, put your flick knife away. You might kill somebody.

Denis

Meow.

Sound of crashing

Dr Poo

Mr Sock, you've got to do something.

Mr Sock

How about a tango. Oh, I know. Hey everybody, want to see me give a rat a haircut?

Guests

Aw yes, nice.

Mr Sock

All right. Has somebody got a rat they could lend me?

Guests

No, no.

Dr Poo

Yes, I think I've got one. O dear, I'm terribly sorry, I seem to have left it in my other trousers.

Denis

Meow.

Dr Poo

O look Mr Sock, Denis has got a hamster. Will that do?

Mr Sock

A hamster. Oh, it's not the same.

Guests

O go on, go on.

Mr Sock

Aw I don't know. O all right.

Hamster

Eek, eek, eek.

Mr Sock

O look, it doesn't even fit in the chair properly.

Guests

Aw get on with it. Come on. Fairs fair.

Mr Sock

O all right, all right.

Sound of scissors cutting

Um, nice day isn't it?

Hamster

Eeee.

Mr Sock

Oo! Sorry about your ear.

(Guests murmur)

Aw fair go. It's not easy trying to give a hamster a Bo Derek hairdo. Ah there. Hand me the mirror Dana.

Dana

Here you are, Dad.

Mr Sock

Ta dear. Well hamster, what do you think?

Hamster

Eeeeekk.

Guests

Booo, hiss, boo, hiss.

Mr Sock

Quick Mr Poo, do something. They're turning ugly.

Dr Poo

Um, um. I'll answer the phone.

Telephone rings

What! Good grief. Listen everyone. The French Revolution has just broken out in Dubbo.

Guests

Ooh aah.

Kevin

You can't have the French Revolution in Dubbo. It only happened in Port Moresby last week. What rubbish. And you heard it first on Dr Poo-oo!

End titles



Written by Lance Curtis, Geoff Kelso, Steve Johnston and Ken Matthews.
Transcribed by Phil from his own off-air recording.

Copyright is retained by the ABC, Triple J and Curtis, Kelso, Johnston & Matthews and no breach of copyright is intended by this reproduction.