Chinese Checkers (6/23)
Mon 15 December 1980
After the usual pre-adventure frigging around, Doctors Poo
and Wee are now getting down to the knitting gritty of the proposed destruction
of the universe.
Well Wee, I've been pouring over these plans of yours for the
last few hours and naturally the inks run a bit, so could you fill me in on ah,
the bit about you reducing the universe to the size of a peewit, ah pea Wee?
Okie dokie Poo. Ho well, firstly I have built diabolical
machine that duplicate a wave pattern of baked potatoes. I broadcast it through
the universe, universe put on loads of weight, and in next to no time I'm just
down the road from immediate, universe corrapse in on itself. O ho ho ho.
Shut up Dana, I'll handle this. Oo ah. You realise of course,
Wee, that it's my duty to put the moccasins on this inscrutable scheme of
Don't make me raugh Poo.
O you should have said. In that case I'll take off this
ridiculous revolving bow tie. Damn thing kept blowing the soup out of my spoon.
Now I gest ya hypnotacarry you not see me disappear.
Abracadabra allakhazam, two bowls of noodles and a leg of ham.
(Dr Wee tries to open panel)
Ho bugger! Secret sliding panel stuck. It work alright in
What's the matter Wee?
Um, where is your front door?
Next to the broom cupboard.
Ho beauty bottler. Now close your eyes, so you not see how I
make secret mystical get away.
Poo & Dana
Yes I know Peking quite well, actually.
Sound of footsteps and then door is opened and we hear Wee being entangled in the broom cupboard. Wee then comes out.
Bruddy broom closet!
Then for the next ten seconds we hear sound of footsteps
receding and then the front door is opened
These instantaneous get a ways seem to get longer and longer.
And the longer they lengthen the lesser we linger to work out
the whether you spit on your finger, or on Dr
(Sound of spitting)
Transcribed by Phil from his own off-air recording.
Copyright is retained by the ABC, Triple J and Curtis, Kelso, Johnston & Matthews and no breach of copyright is intended by this reproduction.