Chinese Checkers (8/23)
Wed 17 December 1980
Well gang, loosen your belts and undo your top buttons
because Dr Wee is making everything in the universe go fat. Meanwhile, Dr Poo
in an urgent act of selfish defence, is detaching the Turdis from the afore
mentioned tubby universe by cutting it out with time and space scissors.
Well actually Kevin, it's not me doing the actual cutting.
Actually it's your actual denim cat who's out there performing the actual act
of cessation. If I went out there I'd be directly exposed to Dr Wee's baked
potato wave and
I have to watch my figure, you know.
There's a knock at the door
Gracious me, what's that blimp doing out there?
That's Denis, Doctor. He wants to come in.
Not on your life support system. He's enormous.
Well he's putting on so much weight.
He's not putting it on, Dana. That's for real. Hello, Denis.
Denis, um, I'm afraid, ah, Dana refuses to let you back in.
She's says, at your present size, if you made a mess, we
would all have to move in upstairs with Eugene Caruthers.
Shut up! But don't worry fatso, ah, I mean Denis. You've done
a gland problem, err, grand job and I think it's very big of you.
Ten four, roll over and bloat, um over and out.
Hey Doctor, how come we're not getting fat?
The Turdis isn't part of the universe anymore, Dana. Thanks
to the four legged beach ball that's looking fatefully in through the window.
Oh Doctor, what can we do? The whole universe is going to
become unsightly and gross and never dare to wear a bikini again.
Well Dana, I've got a two planned prong, ah, two pronged
plan. Prong one; I'm going to put the entire universe on a crash diet and
exercise program. Prong two I'm going to have lunch and then sit in front of
the television for three hours.
What about a prong for me?
Sorry Dana, you'll have to wait 'til the next exciting revelation of Dr Poo's pronggg...
Transcribed by Phil from his own off-air recording.
Copyright is retained by the ABC, Triple J and Curtis, Kelso, Johnston & Matthews and no breach of copyright is intended by this reproduction.