Chinese Checkers (10/23)
Fri 19 December 1980
The flabby old universe is really working up a sweat under
the rigorous exercise program of gym mistress, Dana Sock.
Who told you I was Jim's mistress?
It's in all the papers, Dana.
Ooah, scandal. I'll never be able to go out with Prince
That's all right. He's going out with Jim too!
Oh lies, lies.
Dana, Dana, Dana. I've just had a phone call to the Queen of
England. She says you're not to see Prince Charles ever again.
She's decided this Jim fellow would make a much better Queen.
Oh, I suppose that means I can't be gym mistress anymore. Ok
universe, stop exercising. Off to the showers.
O no Dana, you can't stop now. Dr Wee's baked potato machine
is still saturating the universe with fat waves. Just a few more hours of
exercise and we'll have the universe back to its trim athletic self once more.
Doctor, why don't you just transport the universe forward to
the day after Christmas?
What good would that do?
Well, everything's reduced after Christmas!
(Dr Poo slaps Dana)
Ow! Ok universe, on your feet and deep knee bends. One, two,
three. One, two, three...
While Dana's doing that I'll just...
There is a knock at the door
Shut up you denim hippo and do your exercises with the rest
of the universe. You're not coming back inside until you shed all that
unsightly excess lard.
Now where was I?
Just here Doctor.
Thanks Kevin. Now to speed up this celestial slimming scheme,
I'll create a huge galactic sauna by activating my naughty X rated Swedish
Sound of cyclotron being turned on
It must be hot out there AND naughty.
Knock at the door
Bizarre, shock, horror. Prince Charles caught nude in X rated Swedish topless tobacconist , with twelve year old herring called Jim. Read all around it in tomorrows editions of the Daily Poo-oo!
Transcribed by Phil from his own off-air recording.
Copyright is retained by the ABC, Triple J and Curtis, Kelso, Johnston & Matthews and no breach of copyright is intended by this reproduction.