Chinese Checkers (12/23)
Tue 23 December 1980
Wow we Poo fans, I'm shocked and incoherent. Through his evil
machinations, evil Dr Wee has machinated the universe down to the size of a
jaffa. How could this ever possibly have possibly ever however possibly ever
have possibly happened? How?
Well Kevin, it was all the Doctor's fault. When Dr Wee tried
to make everything go fat, the Doctor put the universe on a strict diet and
training program. But he over did it and the universe got really thin and
Shut up Dana, you're supposed to be shocked and incoherent.
Oh, why can't I be articulate and blasé once in a
(Dr Poo slaps Dana)
That's why. Now get back to that dumb, cretinous stereotype
that the audience expects of you.
Oh Doctor, what has happened to the universe?
(Whispering to Dr Poo)
(Whispering to Dana)
Well Dana, it's all that evil Dr Wee's fault. When he tried
to make everything go fat, I put the universe on a strict diet and training
program but over did it, and the universe got really thin and fainted.
That's what I said.
Yes but you said it was my fault.
Knock at the door
Thundering thunderboxes, Denis! I sent him outside to detach
the Turdis from the universe. Forgotten all about the stupid little sod. He, he
Continues to knock at the door
I'll let him in.
Opens the door
Oh look, a little denim beetle. I'll squash it
Dana squashes DeniS
Oo yuck! All over my trendy orthopaedic gum boots.
Dana, I think that was Denis you just scrunched.
Ooah. Will he be all right? He looks very dead.
He is dead, Dana but I'll just check his service manual.
Let's see, one, two, three, four, five, six, seven and that makes eight. Oh
it's all right; he's got one more life to go.
Knock at the door and Dr Poo opens the door
Cat Life Delivery Service. Are you the people for the small
Yes thank you.
Ah, just sign here.
Er, that my receipt?
No, I just collected the autograph of Dr Poo-oo!
Transcribed by Phil from his own off-air recording.
Copyright is retained by the ABC, Triple J and Curtis, Kelso, Johnston & Matthews and no breach of copyright is intended by this reproduction.