Chinese Checkers (13/23)
Wed 24 December 1980
Hey everyone, feeling hemmed in and claustrophobic? That's
because Dr Wee has compressed the universe down to the size of a jaffa.
Sound of a gong
Ho, a now I have entire universe in the palm of hand. Except
for Dr Poo and his Turdis. But no worry, I fix his little red wagon.
Hurro. Ho, it you my friend. How are things aboard Turdis?
Ho, very interesting. And others do not suspect that you are working as spy for
me? Good. Maintain surveillance until further instruction. Hasta la vista and
What Won Lung?
How come you say all that foreign stuff at end of phone call?
Me being cosmopolitan you ignorant twit. We hope to sell this
show to ethnic radio.
Fat chance. It full of bratant racism.
Huh, what you know you dumb chink. Now a where I put
Here in a test tube, Master.
Beauty bonsai, Won Lung. Now hide it quickry, Dr Poo be here
in a minute.
Door is opened
Ah ha, Wee at last we meet again.
I said in a minute.
Oh sorry. Hold on to something soft and furry. How did Wee
know I was coming? I mean, no. How did I know I was coming, er Wee was coming?
Sorry, we were coming, er going on our holidays. Were we? O how nice. What we
did on our holidays, ah his holidays. Lucky blighter, I never get any holidays.
Neither does the spy.
What spy Kevin?
The one in the Turdis who tells Dr Wee everything about that
Even what I do when I...
And about me in the bath?
O yes Denis, especially that.
And worse than that, he even knows when I'm going to say, Dr Poo-oo!
Transcribed by Phil from his own off-air recording.
Copyright is retained by the ABC, Triple J and Curtis, Kelso, Johnston & Matthews and no breach of copyright is intended by this reproduction.