Chinese Checkers (14/23)
Thu 25 December 1980
C.I.A.'s above! Dr Wee has planted a spy aboard the Turdis.
Who can it be? It certainly ain't me.
Well it's not me.
I've got it - but I'm taking the pills for it. I'll go
upstairs and ask our lodger, Eugene Caruthers, if he can think of anyone who
might be the spy...
Runs upstairs & Knocks on door
Ah, aha, I feel like I'm knocking on Eugene's door.
(Through the door)
Hold on, I'm transmitting a secret message.
Knock, knock, knocking on Eugene's doo-oor...
Ah, hello Doctor. Smile!
takes a picture
Thanks. Come in.
Well, Eugene, I was wondering -
Ah, could you speak into the geranium, please?
Sure. Um, there is a grotty lodger, I mean an ugly roomer,
going around that -
No, can't help you.
Hello? Oh it's for you, Eugene.
Eh - O g'day Dr Wee. Er yeah, this is agent
Eggs-for-Breakfast. Yep, he's standing right next to me. Er hold on. Hey,
Doctor, do you suspect a thing?
No, Wee, he wouldn't know if his pants were on fire. Ah, Dr
Poo, this is a very secretive call, do you mind?
Oh no, no Eugene, we'll talk about this spy thing later.
Closes door & runs downstairs
Well, Dana, Eugene doesn't seem to know -
Doctor, your pants are on fire!
Oh are they? I didn't know that!
Do you want me to put them out?
Oh no, they'll only scratch at the door all night, howling to
be let in. Oh, O I see what you mean, yes please!
Bucket of water
Um, that's better. Now it's time for me to confront Dr Wee.
So, Dr Wee.
Hold on, me on phone. OK Eugene, bye bye!
Who's the spy, Wee?
It Eugene Caruthers.
Rubbish. I didn't come down in the last shower.
Then how come your pants are all wet, you stupid damp Dr
Transcribed by Kevin from an off-air recording made by Warren.
Copyright is retained by the ABC, Triple J and Curtis, Kelso, Johnston & Matthews and no breach of copyright is intended by this reproduction.