Chinese Checkers (16/23)
Mon 29 December 1980
Hi there, Poo glisteners. As you may nose putty, Dr Wee has
zapped the universe down to the size of an alligator's gallstone. The heroic,
but hasn't got his own Tonight Show, Dr Poo, backed up to the heart of the
ridge by Dana and Denis, confronts Dr Wee and makes his demands.
All right, Wee. I demand a complete set of musical rubber
cheese knives, another left nostril, and my own Tonight Show.
The cheese knives and a nostril, no probs. But your own
Tonight Show, you must be off your locker! No-one arow you on terevision in a
Is that your final word, Wee?
Hold on, let me see.
Oh no, look, me got lots of words here and more words here,
and - woarr - what's this word? Ah, Doctor Poo, how you say 'aluminium' in
Well, I suppose it would be a sort of 'arumaninium'...
No, no - it's more like, 'arunumin', er, 'a rolly yum yum',
er no, 'a rolly nim nim, yum'
Meow, meow... 'meow, meow'... mew, mew...
(Everyone speaks at once, trying out pronunciations)
Risten, risten everyone, I got it! 'A room with a view'.
(Everyone delighted - Oh, yes, etc.)
A room with a view, and you, and...
But meanwhile, let's cross back to this episode.
Well Dr Wee, since you refuse to meet my demands, I have no
alternative but - to destroy the universe.
Er, no - you will destroy the universe. What am I saying?
I'll destroy the universe if it'll help?
Oh, shut up and let me think...
Look, how about I just give a universe back?
Oh no you don't Wee, except behind a wall. You're not going
to wriggle out of it that easily.
That's right he ain't, because he's not using Kevin the
Announcer's Miracle Carabu Grease. Apply liberally all over your antlers and
you can wriggle out of anything, including the vice-like grip of the next
eeeeepisode of Dr Poo-ooo!
Transcribed by Kevin from an off-air recording made by Warren.
Copyright is retained by the ABC, Triple J and Curtis, Kelso, Johnston & Matthews and no breach of copyright is intended by this reproduction.