Episode 403 Chinese Checkers (18/23) Wed 31 December 1980 Opening titles KEVIN If you've been getting the inexplicable feeling that there are giant cockroaches walking all over the sky, it's because the universe has been shrunk to the size of a marble, and has rolled under the fridge in Dr Wee's Time and Space dunny. But since the end of our last episode, Dr Wee has been levitating the said fridge - said, 'flidge' - off the ground. Magical HARP sound effect DR WEE Oooh! Hurry up and find universe before my mystical powers get hernia! Me not levitate this flidge forever, you know! (Everyone speaks at once, looking for the universe) DR POO Ah, here it is, under this cockroach. DR WEE Ah, no, no - look out! Falling, crashing sound DR POO Now, obviously, one of us has been squashed by the fridge, so I'm not going to read any further into the script in case it's me. DANA Oh, look, Doctor - your next line is "eeeuurggh". DR POO O is it? Well I'll just cross my name out, and put yours, Dana. DANA What! In that case I'll cross my name out, and write, um, Denis. DENIS Meow. DANA No, Denis, you can't borrow my pen. Now read this! DENIS Meow. DR POO Now look, Denis, someone has to be squashed by that fridge and, well, we'd like it to be you. Besides, if you don't, you won't get any yummo's for dinner. DENIS Mehow... (AHEM) Eeeuurggh! (Everyone applauds appreciatively, O well done, etc) DR WEE Ho, your little pussy cat has been squashed by flidge! DR POO O well done, Sherlock Holmes. DANA Come on, Denis. Squeak of Denis being pulled from under the fridge DENIS Meow. DR WEE But where is universe? DENIS Meow. DANA O look - those cockroaches are playing soccer with it! DR POO And one's going for a goal! Football sounds. The roar of the crowd. DANA Shoot, man, shoot! Kick KEVIN And it's a goal! Right under the bathroom door and into the next episode of Soccer Poo-oo! END TITLES Written by Lance Curtis, Geoff Kelso, Steve Johnston and Ken Matthews. Transcribed by Kevin from an off-air recording made by Warren. Copyright is retained by the ABC, Triple J and Curtis, Kelso, Johnston & Matthews and no breach of copyright is intended by this reproduction.