Kak-Ronald's (i)
August 1980

Opening titles

Kevin

All the small fast food planets of the universe are going out of business. Luigi de Burgerini, proprietor of Greasy World, has pointed an accusing dim sim at a new chain of hamburger planets that are springing up everywhere.

BOING!!

Luigi

Looka, there's another onea sprung upa. Those bloody Kak-Ronald's, they're going to drive me out of birds nest.

Dr Poo

What?

Dana

I think he means business, Doctor.

Dr Poo

Well, so do I. I mean bees knees too. Don't worry Luigi. Dana and I will clear up this dirty pekingese for you.

Luigi

Eh?

Dana

I think he means business, Luigi.

Luigi

Bloody terrific. That's what I like about my friend the Doctor. When he says he means pekingese, he really means bus noise.

Dana

What?

Dr Poo

I think he means business, Dana, and so do I. This time I mean wildebeest teeth and don't you forget it. Let's go.

Kevin

And back in the Turdis.

Dana

Aw, can't we walk in the Turdis face forward like we usually do?

Dr Poo

You heard Kevin, Dana, we've got to back in the Turdis.

Dana

O alright. Oo, I just found the door knob, Doctor!

Dr Poo

Good girl. In we go. It's all cisterns go.

Dana

Doctor, I've just picked up something from the cosmo scanner. I think it's chicken pox.

Dr Poo

Well spotted, Dana. That means we're getting close to this Kak-Ronald's planet. I'd like to check this place out on the vidi screen before we land, so I'll put the Turdis into hold and hover. Let's see, shake, rattle and roll; rock 'n roll; twist and shout, ah here it is, hold and hover.

(Flicks a switch)

O no, there's something wrong, Dana. The Turdis isn't hovering. It's been drawn towards the planet.

Kevin

Something's up. What is it and is it up far enough to still be there for the next episode of what's up Dr Poo-oo!

END TITLES



Written by Lance Curtis, Geoff Kelso, Steve Johnston and Ken Matthews.
Transcribed by Phil from his own off-air recording.

Copyright is retained by the ABC, Triple J and Curtis, Kelso, Johnston & Matthews and no breach of copyright is intended by this reproduction.