Kak-Ronald's (x)
August 1980

Opening titles

Kevin

In his bid to discover the secret motivations of the inner machinations of the Whopper Corporation's Kak-Ronald's Burger Planets, the Doctor is attending a conclave of clowns, who have been made rebumburnt by the afore by to mentioned Whopper Corporation.

(CLOWNS - General murmur and horn blowing)

Pinko

Brother clowns. The Kak-Ronald's burger bosses are our class enemy.

Clown

Hear, hear.

Pinko

They've bought these automated robot Donald Kak-Ronald clowns into the workplace and forced the real working clown out onto the street.

(Yells of agreement and horn blowing)

Clowns of the universe unite. You have nothing to lose but the bearded lady's telephone number. Clowns

(Yells of agreement)

Boozo

Brother Pinko.

Pinko

What is it brother Boozo.

Boozo

I've got this Doctor bloke here, who says he can help us.

Dr Poo

That's right. I believe I, Doctor Poo, can aid you in your struggle.

Pinko

Then you may take the chair, comrade.

Dr Poo

Thank you.

(Dr Poo falls over)

Ow, ooo ow.

Clowns

Ha ha ha ha.

Dr Poo

That's not funny. A person could hurt himself.

Pinko

It's a trick chair. What's the matter? Don't you know how to fall properly?

Dr Poo

No!

(Sounds of disbelief)

Pinko

Can you make back flips?

Dr Poo

No. But I can make eggflips.

Clown 1

What sort of clown are you?

Dr Poo

I'm not a clown.

Clowns

Oooo!!

Clown 1

Bourgeois individualist.

Pinko

Capitalist ringmaster.

Clown 2

Paper lion tamer.

Clowns

Yeah, yeah.

Dr Poo

Wait, wait. You've got me all wrong.

Pinko

He's a fifth columnist.

Clowns

Yeah, yeah.

Pinko

He's trying to us to infiltrate our movement.

Dr Poo

No I'm not. I'm one of you. I come from a real working clown background. I was cacked on by an elephant when I was only three.

Pinko

Lies! You're a spy.

Dr Poo

I a spy?

Kevin

That's right. I a spy with my little eye, something beginning the ending of the episode preceding the next elephant stool of Dr Poo-oo!

END TITLES



Written by Lance Curtis, Geoff Kelso, Steve Johnston and Ken Matthews.
Transcribed by Phil from his own off-air recording.

Copyright is retained by the ABC, Triple J and Curtis, Kelso, Johnston & Matthews and no breach of copyright is intended by this reproduction.