Kak-Ronald's (xi)
August 1980

Opening titles

Kevin

In the interest of good taste, the so and so's of Dr Poo have classified this episode over rated. Small children will only be admitted if accompanied by a dry cleaning bag.

Pinko

Tar and feather him.

Clown 1

Bar and tether him.

Clown 2

Spa and lather him.

Pinko

Father and mother him.

Dr Poo

you clowns, I'm on your side. I'm as much against this Kak-Ronald's hamburger corporation as you are.

Pinko

You're a spy. You're here to undermine our clown revolution.

Dr Poo

Never! I have irrefootball proof that I'm a true comrade of the working clown. Down with these trousers.

Clowns

Ooo!

Dr Poo

Yes, you may well go oo. For these long spiral underpants were given to me by none other than that great clown, Punch Up himself.

Pinko

He's right. Feel how funny the texture is.

Clowns

O yeah, right.

Dr Poo

Now Pinko, do you and your clowns believe me?

Clowns

We believe, we believe.

(One horn blows)

Kevin

Meanwhile, Dana is somewhere else on the same burger planet, working undercover as a Donald Kak-Ronald robot clown.

Dana

O dear. This big red clown nose is really uncomfortable. There, that's better. Are you alright down there in my baggy pants, Denis?

Denis

Meow.

Dana

O alright. Hop out.

Denis

Meow.

Dana

And I'll put you, um, under my orange wig.

Denis

Meow. Purr, purr.

Dana

That tickles, oh oh, Denis! Here comes a robot clown.

Donald Kak-Ronald

Hello, Donald 867. Tell me, why is your big red nose up there on your forehead?

Dana

Um, o yeah. It was feeling itchy, Donald number ...

Donald Kak-Ronald

But we robots do not have the itch function. Your circuits are in error. I will remove your head and fix it for you.

Denis

Meowr.

Donald Kak-Ronald

O your wig is malfunctioning.

Dana

Oh no. What a predicament. And I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for that dumb Dr Poo-oo!

END TITLES



Written by Lance Curtis, Geoff Kelso, Steve Johnston and Ken Matthews.
Transcribed by Phil from his own off-air recording.

Copyright is retained by the ABC, Triple J and Curtis, Kelso, Johnston & Matthews and no breach of copyright is intended by this reproduction.