Kak-Ronald's (xiii)
August 1980

Opening titles

Kevin

Dr Poo, known to one and all as top dog of the toot, is at war with an evil force that threatens to take over the universe. And that force is the multi-galactic Kak-Ronald's hamburger empire.

Clowns

(General murmur)

Dr Poo

Alright you clowns. Now I know you want to fight those awful Kak-Ronald's robot clowns because they made you redundant. But remember there are greater issues at stake.

Pinko

Like what?

Dr Poo

Exactly! And so my vital background knowledge, together with your fairground knowledge; will give us a complete set of knowledge; attractively bound in rat hide and only $4,245 for all six and a half volumes. Alright, who'll be first?

Clowns

O yeah, yeah

(Horns blowing)

Kevin

Exciting, huh. Well, while the Doctor is organising his clown commandos, Dana is zapping down a cosmo chute towards the evil planet Cack.

Dana

Ooah! Where am I. Ah, here's a tourist information board. The Cack Chamber of Commerce welcomes you to the evil planet Cack. Um, how nice. And here's a map. Dana Sock is here? O good. Evil cack headquarters are here? O that's just round the corner. I'll drop in and ask them if there are any places of interest I should see. I am a spy after all.

Siren Sounds

Cack Announcer

Attention, Donald Kak-Ronald clown 867...

Dana

Oh, that's me.

Cack Announcer

... computer scan indicates you have circuitry malfunction. Please remove your head.

Dana

Um, I'd rather not. I'm a bit spy, um shy.

Cack Announcer

Invalid answer. Embarrassment response indicates deterioration beyond acceptable limits. Warning, all units seek and destroy robot clown 867.

Dana

Um, wait a minute.

Kevin

Sorry, Dana, times up. And you've given the robots the wrong answer. Which means you'll be obliterated in the next cybernetic execution on Dr Poo-oo!

END TITLES



Written by Lance Curtis, Geoff Kelso, Steve Johnston and Ken Matthews.
Transcribed by Phil from his own off-air recording.

Copyright is retained by the ABC, Triple J and Curtis, Kelso, Johnston & Matthews and no breach of copyright is intended by this reproduction.