Hey gang, it's excitement plus the square root of tension
minus a blob of jam on the bit of the script that says "the Turdis is in the
grip of a Mr and Mrs Fine Force, which eminate from a shiny new hamburger
Stop it Turdis. Stop being sucked towards that planet. Heel,
I say, heel. You naughty Turdis, don't you dare go near that planet. O it's no
good Dana, the Turdis refuses to respond to my commands.
O dear and we're getting closer. Look on the vidi screen
Doctor, the planet is orange and I'm wearing pink; we're going to clash.
Hold on Dana, this won't be pretty.
O Doctor, we didn't clash after all.
No Dana. We just had a gentle touch up, I mean touch down.
Well maybe they didn't want us to crash.
Affirmative Dana. I suspect they just wanted to connect our
Draw us in. These new venbenders of hamburgers, must
regardening tools us as potential customers.
Well that's OK by me. I'm so hungry I could eat a jockey.
Eat a jockey?
Well, I don't like eating horse, it's a bit tough. But
jockey, mmm mmm. Jockey and two veg, jockey in a basket, boiled jockey on a
This is a hamburger planet, Dana, they won't have jockey here.
They might have jockey burgers.
Alright Dana, alright. Now let's get out there and
investigate this new fangmangled hangbanger planet. I mean this Fu Manchu
handled fur burger bangle.
Fu Manchu who?
Kazoontite my Lieber and Stoller. Now let's go.
Hello boy and girl, I'm Donald Kak-Ronald and here at
Kak-Ronald's we've got it all for you.
Who's this clown?
Well according to my script Dana, he's a big blob of jockey jam. But he'll be a boiled egg in the next big blob on toast of Dr Poo-oo!
Transcribed by Phil from his own off-air recording.
Copyright is retained by the ABC, Triple J and Curtis, Kelso, Johnston & Matthews and no breach of copyright is intended by this reproduction.