Kak-Ronald's (iii)
August 1980

Opening titles

Kevin

Well Poo fanatics, our omnibus heroes have alighted on a glossy new hamburger planet called Kak-Ronald's, where they've been greeted by some clown in a clown suit.

Donald Kak-Ronald

Hello and welcome and how are you, and isn't life nice especially here at Kak-Ronald's.

Dana

You're funny.

Donald Kak-Ronald

That's me. I'm Donald Kak-Ronald your jolly hamburger clown.

Dana

Oo!

Donald Kak-Ronald

Have a nice time, the hamburgers are that way.

Dr Poo

Did you hear what he said, Dana? The hamburgers are that way. Hmm. Gay hamburgers.

Dana

Well, my Mum use to dish up camp pie, so I suppose it will be alright.

Dr Poo

Ah there's the counter over there.

Dana

Look at this crowd, Doctor.

Dr Poo

Yes, these must be the spectators from the annual poke you in the eye eisteddfod. It's being held at the intergalactic hyper bowl on the asteroid Tracksuit Minor. But before this new Kak-Ronald's planet appeared, my old friend Luigi on Greasy World use to get all this custom.

Dana

Well, it's much cleaner here than on Luigi's greasy old planet.

Dr Poo

That may be Dana, but we haven't tested the food here yet. Look out there, excuse me.

Girl at Counter

Hello, can I help you?

Dr Poo

Ah yes. What have you got?

Girl at Counter

Well, we've got big cacks, we've got the Kak-Ronald's quarter ouncer or fish head burgers; nice clean poke you in the eye fries, sugar fry in sugar syrup with apple flavoured sugar; thick sludges and of course, cups of cackle cola.

Dr Poo

Well, we'll have the lot. My friend's very hungry.

Dana

I'm not that hungry.

Dr Poo

You're starving.

Dana

But...

Dr Poo

Shut up Dana, you'll expose my plot.

Dana

But my hands are above the counter.

Kevin

Where are your hands, Poo fans? Well stop doing that and put them on the counter where we can see them or you'll go blind and not be able to see the next dirty habit of Dr Poo-oo!

END TITLES



Written by Lance Curtis, Geoff Kelso, Steve Johnston and Ken Matthews.
Transcribed by Phil from his own off-air recording.

Copyright is retained by the ABC, Triple J and Curtis, Kelso, Johnston & Matthews and no breach of copyright is intended by this reproduction.