Kak-Ronald's(vii)
August 1980

Opening titles

Kevin

Hello there. I'm Kevin the announcer. You probably don't remember me. I'm just a disembodied voice that introduces each episode of Dr Poo and tells you all about the story so far. Except sometimes when I don't feel like it.

Dr Poo

Kevin. KEVIN! O damn. Dana, have you got that clown suit on yet?.

Dana

Yeah.

Dr Poo

O good, that means we must be up to the story so far.

Dana

Why do you want me to dress up as a Kak-Ronald's robot clown, Doctor?

Dr Poo

So you can investigate the kitchen of this Kak-Ronald's burger planet and see if you can find a clue as to why this chain of Kak-Ronald's planets is driving all the little hamburger worlds out of business.

Boozo

Psst. Hey pal. Got twenty cosmo cents for an old clown down on his luck? Just twenty cents and I can get a refill for me squirting flower.

Dr Poo

Get away from me you disgusting old clown.

Boozo

Hey look out matey, there's one of them Kak-Ronald's robot clowns right behind ya. I'll get him.

Dana

Oh, oh.

Boozo

Take that!

(Boozo hits Dana)

Dr Poo

Leave my beautiful assistant alone, you festering jester.

Boozo

Hey it's a girlie and she's real.

Dr Poo

Well of course she's real. Up to a point...

Boozo

I'm sorry chief but I've seen so many of these fake robot clowns come in here and push us real clowns into the gutter. Well err

(Sob)

I tell ya

(Blows horn)

I can't take no more.

(More sobbing)

Dr Poo

Holy harpic. Is there no end to the list of victims of this hideous Kak-Ronald's plague. This must be God's secret mission for me - to rid the universe of...

Kevin

Dr Poo-oo!

END TITLES



Written by Lance Curtis, Geoff Kelso, Steve Johnston and Ken Matthews.
Transcribed by Phil from his own off-air recording.

Copyright is retained by the ABC, Triple J and Curtis, Kelso, Johnston & Matthews and no breach of copyright is intended by this reproduction.