Kak-Ronald's (ix)
August 1980

Opening titles

Kevin

In our last eftarousing episode, the Doctor pledged that he would expose the sinister forces that are behind the multi-galactic Kak-Ronald's burger empire.

Dramatic music

Dr Poo

Right Dana, now this is what you are going to do.

Dana

Me! I thought you were going to expose the sinister forces that...

Dr Poo

Shut up! You are the tool for my end.

Dana

I don't like the sound of that

Dr Poo

You are a clown.

Dana

No need to get personal.

Dr Poo

O!! You are dressed as a Kak-Ronald's robot clown, Dana! And you are going into that Kak-Ronald's burger kitchen, to find out where all that bland food and all these robot clowns and brainwashed waitresses come from. Ready?

Dana

Hang on; I've just got to put on my nose. There! How do I look?

Boozo

You look just like a real Donald Kak-Ronald clown.

Dana

Thank you sir. You are very kind.

Dr Poo

Great, Dana. The voice is perfect. You'd better take Denis with you, just in case you need an extra paw.

Denis

Meow.

Dana

Where will I put him?

Dr Poo

Down the front of your baggy pants.

Denis

Meow!

Dana

Come on, Denis.

Denis

Reoww.

Dana

There

Dr Poo

Now off you go. Good luck.

Dana

Thanks a lot!

(Blows horn)

Hello sir, hello madam. Can I help you? Hello sir, hello madam...

Boozo

I take my big red nose off to that girl. She's a real clown.

Dr Poo

That's low praise coming from a broken down old buffoon like you, Boozo. Now here's what I want you to do. I want you to gather together all your old out of work clown friends.

Kevin

And some time later.

Dr Poo

Are you still here, you lazy old bum.

(Dr Poo hits Boozo)

Get a wriggle on there, shake a leg.

Boozo

I can't. Someone's nailed me big floppy shoes to the floor.

Kevin

And neither can I, because some stupid clown's nailed my shoes to the next big floppy episode of Dr Poo-oo!

END TITLES



Written by Lance Curtis, Geoff Kelso, Steve Johnston and Ken Matthews.
Transcribed by Phil from his own off-air recording.

Copyright is retained by the ABC, Triple J and Curtis, Kelso, Johnston & Matthews and no breach of copyright is intended by this reproduction.