- Interlude -
The Khan Ages - Episode 1
Dramatic opening music
Sweeping across the paddocks of history like a grass fire on
a windy day come the Khans. This is the saga of their reign of terror: The Khan
Music reaches a crescendo and ends
The place, Rome. The time, the morning after the night
After an heavy night of pillaging our intrepid sackers are feeling a little
(The mongrels groan and complain)
Who'd like a cup of tea?
Shut up, Neville!
Leave him alone, Brian. you've no philosophical base to
refuse him freedom of speech. Besides, I'd
like a cup of tea.
Well, Bede - if you want to nip over to China and get the
tea, I'll make it!
Listen to you blokes. You come to Rome, spend half the night
sacking and pillaging -
- and raping, eh Brian?
Leave him alone!
Shut up, Bede! And now you want to go all the way back to
the Orient for a bloody cup of tea. When in Rome, do in the Roman.
Ah, poo, spaghetti for breakfast! Bleurgh!
O shut up!
Dad, he won't let me talk. He keeps telling me to -
Shut up, Neville
O but Dad...
Shut up, Neville.
OK, you can whistle for your tea.
Let's take stock.
Ah, I got all the stock last night.
(Neville struggles with something heavy, which falls over. He
I hate Sundays. Let's go see what's on at the Coliseum.
We burnt it down last night.
That's the trouble with the youth of today, no forward
planning. Alright then, what's left... Where'd you leave the vestal virgins,
When you say vestal virgins, Dad, you're only really half
He's still trying to to put out the Senate.
I don't see any Christians.
We don't need any more pets. If you go bringing home every
stray preacher man you can find, where would we be? We're flat out feeding the
Where will we go, then?
There's no point following the road signs, they all point to
Let's go grab the arms off a few statues.
You mean, just a bit of armless fun?
(Neville is hit)
Shut up, Neville!
Rome wasn't build in a day but it was demolished in a night,
and it happened during the Khan Ages!
Transcribed by Kevin & Phil from an off-air recording made by Warren.
Copyright is retained by the ABC, Triple J and Curtis, Kelso, Johnston & Matthews and no breach of copyright is intended by this reproduction.