- Interlude -
The Khan Ages - Episode 3
December 1979

Opening titles

ANNOUNCER

The mongrel hoards, having left Rome and opened the Apian way to heavy traffic, have traveled North to Switzerland and are now high atop the Swiss Alps.

NEVILLE

Gee, Dad. The Swiss people have a lot of dandruff.

Genghis KHAN

We're in the middle of a blizzard, Neville. Well boys it's all downhill from here.

(The mongrels whoop and cheer)

NEVILLE

What are they doing, Dad?

Genghis KHAN

The boys are skiing down the mountain, Neville.

NEVILLE

Why have they tied those Swiss people to their feet?

Genghis KHAN

Because the Swiss people make the best ski's in the world.

NEVILLE

Just shows what you can do with a bit of Alp from your friends, eh! Haha!

Genghis KHAN

Come here, Neville, I want to disengage your Adam's apple.

A goat bleats

NEVILLE

Dad, behind you! Watch out for that -

The goat runs up, and butts Genghis

(Genghis shouts out, falling down the mountain)

NEVILLE

- goat, Dad...

Bede

Hey, Neville.

NEVILLE

Hey, Bede. How are we gonna get down?

Bede

We can either ski down, like the other blokes, or we can slide down on this thing that Dr Poo gave me.

NEVILLE

What's that?

Bede

It's a toboggan.

NEVILLE

Don't be rude, Bede.

Bede

No, that's what it's called. It's a toboggan.

Brian

Hey, you blokes, d'you want a Swiss roll?

Neville & Bede

Ah yeah, thanks Brian.

Brian

Here you go!

(Neville and Bede yell as they are pushed down the mountain)

Happy landing! And now to find me a little hidey-hole.

Swiss Mountain WOMAN

Hello. Who are you?

Brian

Strewth, the very thing.

Swiss Mountain WOMAN

Have you seen my goats?

Brian

You show me yours and I'll show you mine, and no buts about it. What's your name?

Swiss Mountain WOMAN

Dee!

Brian

Hi Dee. Heidi!

(She giggles)

She's a push-over.

Swiss Mountain WOMAN

Push over? OK!

(Brian yells, falling off the mountain)

Announcer

Well it seems that there was a heavy fall of Khans on the Northern slopes of the Swiss Alps today. Listen tomorrow at the same time where you will hear Neville say -

NEVILLE

Snow joke being a Khan, you know.

EVERYONE

Shut up, Neville!

Closing fanfare



Written by Lance Curtis, Geoff Kelso, Steve Johnston and Ken Matthews.
Transcribed by Kevin from an off-air recording made by Warren.

Copyright is retained by the ABC, Triple J and Curtis, Kelso, Johnston & Matthews and no breach of copyright is intended by this reproduction.