- Interlude -
The Khan Ages - Episode 4
December 1979

Opening titles

ANNOUNCER

When we last heard of the Khans they were whizzing down the Swiss Alps. Halfway down they meet a party of wealthy Swiss business men. The mongrels side-step the moguls, landing in a jeweller's shop, and now find themselves with time on their hands.

There is an enormous crash, with clock chimes

Genghis KHAN

Neville I told you not to drop that clock.

NEVILLE

It's alright, Dad, it was only second hand!

Genghis KHAN

Wipe that smile off your dial. Geez Nevilles. Sometimes I think your mother must have been Irish. Where's Bede?

NEVILLE

Ah, he's inventing again.

Genghis KHAN

Bede! Bede, come here!

Bede

Yeah Dad?

A ticking, whirring noise follows Bede

Genghis KHAN

Where's that noise coming from?

Bede

Hey Dad, good news. I've invented a machine that will tell us how many mountains there are in Switzerland.

Genghis KHAN

What's it called?

Bede

It's an Eiger-Counter!

NEVILLE

Why would we want to know how many there are, Bede?

Bede

Don't be obsequious, Neville. For our taxes, of course.

NEVILLE

What are taxes?

Genghis KHAN

Good grief, I don't believe it. Taxes, Neville, are like Egyptian women. Hard to take, but once they've gotcha they keep coming back for more. Right Bede?

Bede

Ah well, father, actually -

Genghis KHAN

(Dangerously)

Right, Bede?

Bede

Er, yes Dad!

Genghis KHAN

Right, get on with it, Bede. Neville, where's Brian?

NEVILLE

He was the last one to come down the mountain. He should be here any minute.

Whoosh, followed by CRASHING SOUNDS

BRIAN

Wooooooooooooah!

Genghis KHAN

Where have you been, Brian?

BRIAN

O, I showed a chick all over town.

Genghis KHAN

Did she go all the way?

BRIAN

No, but I did. She pushed me off a cliff.

NEVILLE

I bet it's the first time Brian ever got a knockback.

Genghis KHAN

Eh, Brian, what do you reckon the time is?

BRIAN

Time for a beer, Dad.

Genghis KHAN

Yeah, you're not wrong. Let's go.

Footsteps as they walk away

That looks like a pub over there. C'mon.

A heavy door is rattled

Brian

Aah it's shut, Dad.

Genghis KHAN

But it's only three o'clock.

BRIAN

Hang on, Dad; this sign says, 'B, A, N, K.' Does that spell 'pub'?

Genghis KHAN

Dunno, Brian. Open the door and we'll find out.

They knock down the door

ANNOUNCER

What does this Swiss bank hold for the mongrels? Find out next time in The Khan Ages.

Closing fanfare



Written by Lance Curtis, Geoff Kelso, Steve Johnston and Ken Matthews.
Transcribed by Kevin from an off-air recording made by Warren.

Copyright is retained by the ABC, Triple J and Curtis, Kelso, Johnston & Matthews and no breach of copyright is intended by this reproduction.