- Interlude -
The Khan Ages - Episode 7
December 1979

Opening titles

ANNOUNCER

The Khans, having taken one of the smallest steps in the history of mongrel-kind, have fallen through a door which separates Luxembourg from the rest of the known world and now find themselves on the front steps of Germany.

Traditional german folk music starts to play, and continues throughout the episode

Genghis KHAN

What happened?

Bede

Transition!

Genghis KHAN

What?

NEVILLE

We just fell out of Luxembourg.

Genghis KHAN

Where are we now, then? Bede?

Bede

Germany.

Sound of a crate of glass bottles

Genghis KHAN

Hey, what are they?

Bede

I think, father, that these bottles contain white German beer.

BRIAN

Ah give us one, Bede.

(He drinks)

Gah, strewth, milk!

Bede

It's everywhere - hundreds of bottles of milk.

NEVILLE

They must have gone on holidays and forgot to tell the milkman!

Genghis KHAN

Geez, yeah; for once, Neville, I'm thinking you might be right. I doubt it, though.

NEVILLE

Hey! Look at this money wrapped up in a note!

BRIAN

Someone's left his Marks, alright!

Genghis KHAN

That'll be the Germans' milk money. I'll take that, just for safekeeping. Keep it in me safe!

Everyone

Ah yeah. Haw haw!

Genghis KHAN

Bede?) Transendum!

Bede

Everywhere you perceive, O father illustrious dear, I -

Genghis KHAN

Shut up, Bede. What are the Germans famous for?

Bede

Pork knuckles; hitting people; thick women; beer...

BRIAN

Beer?

Bede

Yes. They are an advanced civilisation which grew out of an early opening crevice in the ice age which revealed a liquid forever amber. Ever since they have paid homage to the Great God Froth, and have celebrated this venerated genesis with a time of revelry. In November. Annually.

Genghis KHAN

What time is it now?

NEVILLE

Er - eleven grains past October.

Genghis KHAN

You'd better check the grog supplies, Nev.

NEVILLE

Where are the grog camels?

Sounds of a grunting camel or two

Bring on the kegs of the desert, let's have an icko-mo at the eskimos!

Genghis KHAN

Let's take a look at the spirit level.

Whirrs and whizzes from some machinery

Yeah, plenty of scotch. Now I'll just whack the old dipstick in the beer bag - strewth! We're out of beer!

Closing fanfare



Written by Lance Curtis, Geoff Kelso, Steve Johnston and Ken Matthews.
Transcribed by Kevin from an off-air recording made by Warren.

Copyright is retained by the ABC, Triple J and Curtis, Kelso, Johnston & Matthews and no breach of copyright is intended by this reproduction.