Universal Administration (ii)
July 1980

Opening titles

Kevin

It's the moment of truth. No, I tell a lie, it's just coming up to the moment of truth for Dr Poo who stands on the gallows, a rope around his neck, the executioner about to pull the switch. Dana and Denis about to order two cappuccinos in a coffee shop round the corner. Now the Doctor strikes a heroic pose and speaks his last words to the crowd.

Dr Poo

Help, somebody help.

God appears. the crowd gasp in amazement

God

Dr Poo.

Terry

Hey, it's Bernie Smith.

Dr Poo

No it's not. It's God.

Terry

Funny, he looks a lot like Bernie Smith. Anyone ever tell you,you look a lot like Bernie Smith?

God

All the time. Dr Poo.

Dr Poo

Yes Lord.

God

I want to see you in my office in half an hour.

Terry

Hang on, we are just about to hang him.

God

Shut up or I'll turn you into a beach towel.

Terry

But I didn't say...

God turns him into a beach towel. Crowd impressed and claps

Crowd

Very nice, very nice.

Kevin

Meanwhile in a coffee shop round the corner.

Dana

Another cappuccino Denis.

Denis

Meow.

Dana

Due cappuccino senor.

Senor

All righta love.

Dana

The Doctor's hanging is taking a long time. His cappuccino's getting cold.

Dr Poo

Dana, Denis.

Denis

Meow.

Dana

Oh Doctor, did you enjoy your hanging.

Dr Poo

Dana, I've just seen God.

Dana

Ooah, Umm, how is he?

Dr Poo

No Dana, you don't understand. I've just seen God.

Dana

Um, what a lovely beach towel.

Dr Poo

Yes, this is Terry the beach towel.

Dana

Hello.

Terry

Mmp

Dr Poo

Now you and Denis keep Terry company while I'll go and see God. Bye bye.

Dana

Cappuccino Terry?

Kevin

What a narrow shave. Only the divine intervention of God, or was it Bernie Smith, prevented a very uncomfortable end for our Dr Poo-oo!

END TITLES



Written by Lance Curtis, Geoff Kelso, Steve Johnston and Ken Matthews.
Transcribed by Phil from his own off-air recording.

Copyright is retained by the ABC, Triple J and Curtis, Kelso, Johnston & Matthews and no breach of copyright is intended by this reproduction.