Universal Administration (iii)
July 1980

Opening titles

Kevin

Todays lesson is from the Epistle to the Poo Fans, Chapter Eleven verses the West Indies. Yea verily it came to pass that even as the enemies of Poo drew nigh to smite him even unto death in the last episode; the heavens did open and the Lord God appeared on high and did strike the leader of Poo's enemies, he that is called Terry and did transform him into the semblance of a beach towel. Which was a pretty neat trick and drew much appreciative applause from the assembled multitude. And the Lord spake saying thus

God

Thus.

Kevin

No no read your script.

God

What, oh sorry. Dr Poo, I want to see you in my office in half an hour. How was I?

Kevin

Hmm, not bad, mm.

Dr Poo

Ah excuse me.

Typist

Yes.

Dr Poo

Could you tell me where God's office is please.

Typist

Who?

Dr Poo

Um God. Ah tall chap, runs the universe.

Typist

Can't place him. You sure he works here?

Dr Poo

W... ah yes. Well this is Universal Administration isn't it?

Typist

Yes, but I don't think we've got a Mr Cod here. Gladys, so you know a Mr Cod?

Gladys

Who?

Typist

Mr Cod.

Gladys

Mr Cod.

Dr Poo

No, the name's God.

Typist

Cod.

Gladys

There's a Mr Mullet down in pricing.

Typist

Oh, that might be him. I'll ring personnel for you.

Dr Poo

Listen, I want Mr God.

Typist

Hello, personnel. Do you know where Mr Mullet is now? He is in pricing. Thank you very much. Mr Mullet is in pricing and you go down...

Dr Poo

I don't want to see Mr Mullet.

Typist

Oh that's alright. There'll be somebody in pricing who can help you.

Dr Poo

Look! I've got an appointment with God in half an hour.

Typist

Listen, I'll tell Mr Beautwopper, my supervisor, that you're here.

Dr Poo

Why?

Kevin

Why not. A Mr Beautwopper in the office is worth two Mr Mullets in pricing or a room full of helpful typists, typing up the next staff roster for Dr Poo-oo!

END TITLES



Written by Lance Curtis, Geoff Kelso, Steve Johnston and Ken Matthews.
Transcribed by Phil from his own off-air recording.

Copyright is retained by the ABC, Triple J and Curtis, Kelso, Johnston & Matthews and no breach of copyright is intended by this reproduction.