Universal Administration (iv)
Dr Poo has been in some pretty tight jams and some ugly loose
vegemites. He's been in prison, been on the run, been tried, convicted and
almost strung up but was saved at the eleventh hour by good old God. But none
of these trials and tribulations compare with his present ordeal - trying to
find God's office in the tangled bureaucracy of the Universal Administration.
Mr Beautwopper, it's really quite simple, as I explained to
the girl outside. I've got an appointment to see God in his office and if I'm
not there in half an hour he'll turn me into a beach towel.
Mr Cod. I don't think we've got a Mr Cod on this floor. We do
have a Mr Mullet, I think he's in pricing.
I've been through all that.
Well, let me ring personnel and see whether Mr Mullet is in
pricing or not.
I don't give a fig for Mr Mullet.
There is a knock at the door
Ah Mr Mullet.
I just had a call earlier from personnel. They said there was
someone up here looking for Mr Mullet from pricing.
I don't want to see Mr Mullet from pricing.
Oh well that's alright because I've been transferred to
accounts. So either you want to see me, Mr Mullet or you want to see the fella
whose taken my job in pricing, Mr Fig.
Stuff Mr Fig.
Ah for that you want Mr Turkey in stuffing. Now most of the
stuffing section is on the next floor but at the opposite end of the building.
Isn't stuffing up on the 864th floor.
Don't tell me about stuffing Mr Mullet. I was in stuffing for
Mr Beautwopper, if you don't shut up, I'll take Mr Mullet
here and shove him so far down your throat, that he'll see daylight.
Will Poo get to see God? Will Mullet get to see daylight? Well if you have very good ears, you'll get to see the end of the next tunnel of Dr Poo-oo!
Transcribed by Phil from his own off-air recording.
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