Universal Administration (iv)
July 1980

Opening titles

Kevin

Dr Poo has been in some pretty tight jams and some ugly loose vegemites. He's been in prison, been on the run, been tried, convicted and almost strung up but was saved at the eleventh hour by good old God. But none of these trials and tribulations compare with his present ordeal - trying to find God's office in the tangled bureaucracy of the Universal Administration.

Dr Poo

Mr Beautwopper, it's really quite simple, as I explained to the girl outside. I've got an appointment to see God in his office and if I'm not there in half an hour he'll turn me into a beach towel.

Mr Beautwopper

Mr Cod. I don't think we've got a Mr Cod on this floor. We do have a Mr Mullet, I think he's in pricing.

Dr Poo

I've been through all that.

Mr Beautwopper

Well, let me ring personnel and see whether Mr Mullet is in pricing or not.

Dr Poo

I don't give a fig for Mr Mullet.

There is a knock at the door

Mr Beautwopper

Yes?

Mr Mullet

Mr Beautwopper.

Mr Beautwopper

Ah Mr Mullet.

Mr Mullet

I just had a call earlier from personnel. They said there was someone up here looking for Mr Mullet from pricing.

Dr Poo

I don't want to see Mr Mullet from pricing.

Mr Mullet

Oh well that's alright because I've been transferred to accounts. So either you want to see me, Mr Mullet or you want to see the fella whose taken my job in pricing, Mr Fig.

Dr Poo

Stuff Mr Fig.

Mr Beautwopper

Ah for that you want Mr Turkey in stuffing. Now most of the stuffing section is on the next floor but at the opposite end of the building.

Mr Mullet

Isn't stuffing up on the 864th floor.

Mr Beautwopper

Don't tell me about stuffing Mr Mullet. I was in stuffing for three years.

Dr Poo

Mr Beautwopper, if you don't shut up, I'll take Mr Mullet here and shove him so far down your throat, that he'll see daylight.

Kevin

Will Poo get to see God? Will Mullet get to see daylight? Well if you have very good ears, you'll get to see the end of the next tunnel of Dr Poo-oo!

END TITLES



Written by Lance Curtis, Geoff Kelso, Steve Johnston and Ken Matthews.
Transcribed by Phil from his own off-air recording.

Copyright is retained by the ABC, Triple J and Curtis, Kelso, Johnston & Matthews and no breach of copyright is intended by this reproduction.